Get Gone is a true life story. It tells of the traumatic few days in the finalising of a long relationship between two soul mates and lovers. It tells of how the desires of one lover consumed and depleted the other. It tells into a constantly evolving future......

It tells of illusions and fantasy's. But most of all, Get Gone tells it as it happens, sometimes minute by anguishing minute.

The following is the preface.  If you wish to read the rest of Get Gone, then check back here for when it's published.  Copies will be half price of retail shops.  You can download to read on screen or print out for a few bucks.  Or order the softback on line from Amazon.com.

  Enjoy, cry, fall over laughing or however it grabs you. Get Gone.......

GET GONE
The Beginning of an End to a Beginning
by Eduardo

  The Eliza I knew was so connected, now I have lost her somewhere in the world of fantasy. But reality and fantasy fail to co-exist as one entity or part of a unit. So what direction now?
   The ponder question. When love is so strong that you cannot watch a persons inner destruction. When you love a person enough to share and even gently glide their fantasies through the intricate world of reality to possible fruiting. But how to build a bridge of any substance across the divide of fantasy and reality? Is it possible? Can any resemblance of normality be retained? Or will I just silently slip into the comforts of fantasy and be lost as well? Should I let go of responsibility as family head or as a Father and husband, which is surely that which will happen if I succumb to this love.

  Do I cut her free? Let her spread itchy wings and strengthening feet? Do I save the love still here at cost of enjoying its physical bountifulness?
I don't know. I don't want to lose the respect I have or the deep unity I feel, which is destined to happen on this path unless I allow the freedom she so silently yearns for.

  I have always known this day would come somehow, though not recognised it. Eliza has never been restrained or able to live under restraint, it is her nature and such a wonderful quality for a period. But exploration, new horizons, far off lands and new challenges surge through her veins. It has always been this blood that delivered the life force she radiates.
I had hoped this force would quiet sufficiently to allow longer security. I know from experience that when this feeling of restraint manifests, so do the devils of illusion and the stronger that feeling of restraint, the larger those devils become. I have seen them before several times over the past years prior to the necessity to move on and seeing them again now, I know them unfortunately too well. It has always been the sign that drastic change and major movement must take place imminently.
   Now we reach a stage where everything I have done and provided is considered worthless, I would feel much greater pain if it were not for understanding why such things are said. The 'shunning' of present entrapments is a natural psychological effect of the initial breaking free. Just like a chick frees itself from the shell that has nurtured and giving life to its first existence. It must discard the previous life giver in search of a new existence. A chick though has a once only limitation that we do not.

  I have a choice. I can spend money on yet another cleaner whether of Eliza's choice or not, who will go down the same tube as previous ones and, suffer the problems and nagging that will occur until her eventual dismissal. Meanwhile feeling pretty worthless at not providing what this great lady wants until eventually she will give in to the real cause of the increasing inherent desire of new conquests and vanish to achieve some desire. Maybe not forever, but vanish she will.
I have always sensed it.
Do I try to preserve some of what is and spend instead on supporting Eliza on some new quest?

  I don't know. My heart is so sad. My body tired. I am weary of the incessant challenges that are never realised to the exact desires and are thus considered failures. That feeling of inadequacy is so destroying when you have given all that you have. There is no longer pride. Pride in what? A beautiful house? How can there be pride in something when it is must be the prodigy of failures and illusion? And who will tend that big house, its gardens and buildings? Who will make it shine? Who will slave for hours over ironing and sweep outside the gate. Who will toil to make sure that not a single speck of dust is anywhere that may be seen? You can ever satisfy? Not even I.

  There is no one. Yet it must be so. For high standards must be maintained. It has always been so ordained. But who? They have all been tried in a long succession and they have all stood accused, sometimes in the vilest of ways. I know the wrath of such accusations whether real or illusionary and they are devastating. I will not defend against just accusation and will concur, but cannot help defending anyone subjected to wrath derived from illusion.

  I have no desire to leave, I am content with my surroundings even if others find it unworthy of them, after all I worked very hard to provide them. But I cannot sustain existence in both the world of illusion and reality when the illusions are malevolent or evil and nothing is considered worthy enough.

  There is no words of forgiveness as there is nothing to forgive you. No great sin has been created or evil deed done. How can phantoms be forgiven? You have done nothing wrong, you are being you. You are obviously about to do what you have often done before. All the usual signs are there, its just much much bigger this time. Its just a shame that dreams of the innocents are shattered as reasons for the birth of a new agenda. But they do say that all is fair for love, war, politics and Eliza.

  I really thought I had found a respite in utopia at last. We had a cleaner capable of persevering your dislikes and whose work at last satisfied you, unbelievable!! Liam had a play mate. You were having sensible ideas taking courses and entering politics and despite recent hormone upsets, overall direction looked positive and for the first time in many years, I felt the brief breeze of peace at last. Now where is it? Some utopia, its in ruins overshadowed by illusionary blackness once more, so back to square one again. Play the same old record over? Don't think so. They say third time lucky, how about umpteenth time lucky?

  This is not a book you are writing, where all is possible and can or does happen. This is everyone's daily life in this time zone, where reality rules and illusionary fixations or persecutions are treated as just that, illusionary. History and science has proven the existence of a fine line between genius and madness. I think the same rule applies to spirituality and illusion. You are certainly the most spiritual person I have known and have the most lucid imagination without boundaries ever encountered. Though I fear you are either lost to the state of imagination or to another call from inherent necessity to be somewhere else beyond those boundaries.

  So my next concern is Which state wins, When it will manifest and Where it leads to?
If you are going to follow course and decide in the very near future to be off somewhere for some undecided period, I would like to know now.
I don't know how you will view things tomorrow, I cant predict any more your views from one moment to the next.

  This is not a letter as such. It started out as more a way of expressing my true thoughts and their turmoil to anyone. It ends in the same quandary, where to now? What's the next level. Is it reality? Am I included or supporter? Are the demons banished? Will I become lost to the illusion? Or stand out in the cold?
I don't know anything anymore.

Contact
eduardo@getgone.net