GET GONE
The Beginning of an End to a Beginning
by Eduardo

  Monday 16th May
   Woke up at six this morning and got Liam ready for his week at school, the car arrived at just past seven and her went off all happy with life after a good weekend.
A quick tidy around the place and its early to work for me and an uneventful day.  My raver turned up at six but flying the flag, so just cooked me some good food and left some for Tuesday and off she went, leaving us both disappointed,  but Wednesday is back to normal - great!   I just worked a while and went to bed.

  Tuesday
   Just sent a text asking Eliza to meet up for coffee somewhere and bring passport so I can get details for Liam's new one.

  Managed to sort out emails and some letters, then a text is received from Eliza that she is on way back from Doctors and to meet her outside flat.  After a cigarette and coffee off I went and took the passport application with me.
When I arrived we went inside to get some things she needed and to write down her passport details. A quick cup of coffee later and I am pushing to go.  I can see Eliza has other ideas of some action in the bedroom, and I had to explain again how I could not emotionally deal with popping round for food and leg over three times a week, with the woman who has ripped me and her son up and walked off to chase fantasy's!  So its out the door I go in a hurry.  I can get all the hot food and sex I want anytime I want, willingly and on my terms, without the tons of baggage, illusions and imaginary devils.   We are separated and finished, full stop.  When, or if, she ever comes back down to reality and shows signs of staying there permanently, I will meet up and talk with her.  Maybe even have a plutonic friendship, but never as lovers and all that involves again.  Never as partners or with romance, that has sadly died.  I had no option but to eliminate those thoughts and feelings,  fighting a fierce internal battle in deciding to finalise the break and it hurt.  But self survival is the stronger will and there is no way forwards under her shadow. I really believe that once she has a proper doctors visit on Friday, they will immediately see she needs some very urgent professional help and strong medication.  With her sudden weight loss, she could even go into hospital for a while.  Whatever happens, she will be in the hands of experts and hopefully have some professional counseling.   My only responsibility now is to my Son, who feels rejected and spurned by his mum.  We must now build our own life together without her as he too finds contact with her painful.  But likewise, if he saw his mum acting normal, I am sure he would like to maintain a link.
As we drive out of the apartments electronic gated courtyard, she tells me the doctor only has emergency surgery at three that afternoon. So we stopped at a nearby cafe and had soup over some general chit chat for a change and off she went to the doctors. She's back in five minutes as apparently that surgery is cancelled until five.
I was getting a little peeved as my day was gradually dissolving into accomplishing nothing and I had planned so much. So I said.
"I need a couple of things in Twickenham."   She had nowhere else to go for couple of hours so tagged along.
We parked up in the high street and she reminded me about the A4 suspension files I had promised to sort out for her filing cabinet.
"Yes."  I replied.   "They will be much cheaper in Woolworth's."   Which was a few shops along.
"Oh. I need a clothes rack to stand in the bath."   She added to the list.
"I hope you have brought money with you."   I smartly quipped back.
It did not go down well with her, I could tell.
"Yes, yes I do have money."  She quietly stammered back.

  The items were bought and by the time I had looked in a couple of charity shops and she had done some shopping at M & S, it was time to head back to the surgery.
I sat and waited in the car, glancing at the dash clock impatiently, as my dinner date was at six and I had to shower yet.
Within ten minutes she came out and crossed the road to get the prescription. I was very relieved as we set off back to Kew.  Dropping her off, I rushed away home to prepare for dinner at Bella's house.  Boy was I starting to feel hungry.
As I showered I thought how ironic, I am getting more home cooked food now, than when I had a wife!!
Eliza is a brilliant cook, its just as it was with sex, not very often.  We have been living on take away's, home deliveries and quick instant mash type food for quite a while.  So I am really appreciating all this kitchen activity, which next to bed activity, rules at the top of my list.  Here we go at last. I'm dressed and ready to eat, or in fact for anything.

  Arriving at her door, I knock and wait. As the door opens this stunning lady smiles and beckons me in. I say stunning, as that's the way to describe her. With or without make up and a nice dress on, this lady could be off to the Kings ball or some other prestigious event.   She has an aura of absolute pride in herself and conviction towards her goals, though that concerns me a little as it places her upon a pretty high stool and I suspect she would demand that same unwavering pride and conviction from her ideal man.  Not sure I have the strength to enter that sort of competitiveness yet and not even sure whether I want that lifestyle again.  Fact I'm not sure about many things at the moment and preferring to just live the moment until after our holiday in Kenya.
I used to have that same pride and aura. Walking corridors of power and fame, not just blending in, but as a shining beacon of respect and authority who always achieved the goal of the day.  Unfortunately my ability to achieve this has diminished greatly since the accident.   Now I can only utilise that same power to create a similar effect in cyberspace, as the physical interaction of meetings and travel are no longer sustainable.

  Her daughter was there playing Runescape, just like Liam.  In fact I think these two should get together as playmates.  She is like most single parent children with a strong degree of independence, which is good especially for girls.  And, she seems very bright with a technically inquisitive mind.  Yeah, I think she will make very good with her life.

  We sat and chatted over an excellent three course meal, until I just could not eat another morsel and retired to the sofa.
After helping with clearing up, her daughter goes off again to her room, leaving us to sit and chat away. Boy did we chat, in between that is, international incoming calls on her land line and two mobiles, which were still ringing at four in the morning! China, America and heavens knows where else. Talk about world communications, that house rocks with radio waves. It was good actually, as reminded me of days gone by and being in hotel rooms, doing international deals in the wee morning hours.

  I have had many conversations that lasted into the morning, but at five thirty, we were still at it!  Talking I mean, no chance of anything else there.  Apart from which, there is another area of concern.  Having just spent sixteen years in the sexual dessert, I will need my woman to be hot, most nights.  Not me constantly chasing and being refused, I never want those rejections in my life again.
Any new relationship will be strongly based upon a little old fashioned male dominance.  I say 'little' as I feverishly believe in equality, yes one day men will be equal to women! Ha Ha.
Quite frankly when I look at the raving lunatics running the western countries, I start to realise that woman would make a damn site better job of running this world, they are after all of mother nature, and who better to ensure stability instead of the oxymoron idiots of mindless slaughter we presently have?

  Tony Blair, his cronies and the that war mongering imbecile from across the pond, will I hope end up in the Hague and tried for crimes against humanity.  That's the legacy they deserve, in return for the decades of death and destruction they have sanctioned and the decades yet to come of trauma and instability in the world due to their insane egoistic power trip.  If women ruled, it would be against mother instincts to brutally kill without mercy or discrimination.
Yes, the perfect world would be half Buddhist, half Muslim and ruled predominantly in all important government positions, by women.  Not delusional Eliza's but real, down to earth sensible women.

  I have found in general that women tend to abide by a code of practice that says
'Happiness is found in loving and accomplishing not in owning and possessing'. (Now there's a huge lesson that Eliza needs to learn!)
So no, I cannot see the world being worse off if women ruled, just the opposite.  But ruling does not mean dominating, that's normally an exclusive male role.

  One thing I do know, is that by the time dawn had come, I had had one of the most open and frank conversations I can remember. We talked about sexual desires, each others needs and other people like two very close friends, with no views barred.
I thoroughly enjoyed every minute, even though many times my feelings of just wanting to sweep this lady off to a luxuriously adorned bed and make passionate love too, kept interrupting other thoughts.
No she's not sexy, she doesn't ooze sensuality nor does she have come to bed eyes, but there is definitely something about her I find sexy apart from her body and features which are class.  Just don't know whether I could find or push her buttons enough for steamy windows though.  The Casanova approach would be as transparent as glass to this lady and not advisable.

  Starting to really feel the tiredness, at around five thirty I left the house with the usual cheek to cheek kiss of friends.  As I walked to the car in the early morning chatter of birds, I thought how much I would have liked to just by pass the cheek pecks and embrace her fully in my arms with a sensual kiss.
Just not the right timing though.  I have many things to resolve before the holiday, during which I shall decide where my future will be and who with, if anybody at all.  As Liam reminded me, take it steady Dad.  Meaning don't jump out of the frying pan into a fire!
I shall help Bella from a distance with some of the support I can easily offer through my existing network and who knows?
Maybe we get lucky, maybe she decides to throw past and future cautions to the wind and live the moment, while its there. Maybe she invites me round for a super super night that neither us will ever forget.  Maybe we see each other again and enjoy more of those rare moments, or maybe we stay just friends, or maybe just maybe.....

  Well its six now and no maybe, I am definitely straight to bed and a few hours sleep.  I have another date with a very sexy lady tonight and that is going to be demanding, I know.

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