GET GONE
The Beginning of an End to a Beginning
by Eduardo

   Saturday 18:54
   Liam's home, but as last time Eliza is not here, which in a way he seems happy with.  Especially as there's only his room untouched by her rampage of wrap and pack.
Had a good talk with each other anyway and just as we were chatting, a phone call came for Eliza from the estate agents about this new flat she found.  Yes, its hers.  Hardly surprising really as I cannot see anyone else renting it at that price and why its been empty for a while.
So that's it, Tuesday she goes to the agent, I pay the money as usual and the move can start.  So I promised Liam that the house would be more like a home next weekend and he went off to play Runescape pleased with that news.

  Happy?  Oh boy, am I!  At last there is an ending to this hell of living with her.  The removal bill is one that I shall happily pay as well as the three grand to the estate agent.  In my eyes I am buying freedom from the demons and bad people that Eliza sees and great peace of mind from her incessant wants.  So roll on Tuesday.
Next week, once everything is back to normal I must ask Liam for Evelyn's email and send asking her to come back as our maid.  Its going to take her a few weeks to get this house back to its former glory.  Until then I will manage myself as I have done many times before.

  Cant believe the number of emails I am getting from readers, all apart from one were very supportive, even the offers of matrimony, friendship or just plain sex.  Wow, Get Gone must be touching their hearts.

  Must remember to telephone the property office, as Eliza has agreed to have her name permanently removed from this house once a flat had been obtained for her.  So by Wednesday we need to both go to their office and do the signing.  Once that is done, the final step is taken.  Eliza will have no further rights at all to this place, its grounds or contents.  Under the law she may be entitled to half of everything, that is everything owned in this country but not that which is held in trust for Liam offshore.

  A reasonably pleasant day so far, Liam and I went to the market this morning looking for pictures, ornaments and stuff.  Not a lot there but managed to find a huge floor vase to replace one of the two swiftly boxed by Eliza.  Also managed to save some money on the stereo system she keeps nagging about.  Instead of the two hundred plus I would have paid in a high street store, it cost twenty.  I know the stall holder quite well and trust him explicitly when he says its fully working.  Actually it looks quite new and a very good Aiwa brand, with the two separate big speakers she likes.  At last her want list is down to one sheet of paper and that's it.  Trouble is, now the stereo has arrived, most of my decent cd's have left, packed away into the nearest empty box!
We also bought a ready for the oven organic chicken, which Eliza put into the oven.  Even she has to eat.  A little gardening and moving the lawn later, dinner was ready.  Pretty basic meal with a pan of peas, oven potatoes and the chicken.  All was well as Liam came down and I was just about to sit after helping myself to the food.   Liam and Eliza was already sat and I reached over to the condiments always by the toaster.  There was just an empty space where the salt and pepper pots used to be.  I just stared in disbelief and turned to Eliza and asked
"Where's the salt and pepper pots?"
"Oh I've taken them." She calmly replied.
Liam looked at me and knew I was about to justifiably explode, so he picked up his plate and went up to his room.
"You've packed them?!"   I half shouted, trying to retain some composure.
"You have that big pepper pot and the salt is on the table."   She innocently said back, pointing at the salt packet.
I just looked at her and really lost it.
"You don't even ask!  You just take!  Anyone would think you are going within hours!  And that Eliza is completely you.  You want, you take and sod it to all others!"
"What am I going to use then?  I need salt and pepper."
I just got up and went to the spice rack and picked out the small salt and pepper pots, then banged them on the table.
"Use these!  Like everyone else!  You've got your own money, go buy some others if you must have the luxury!"
As usual my outburst had absolutely no effect whatsoever as she looked back at me and said.
"I really don't know why your getting so upset about a salt and pepper pot.  There only small things."
I simply replied,  "Its not the things you do, again its the way you do them!  Not a single care for others or any inconvenience.   Eliza wants and Eliza must have, just likes its always been."
I started eating the meal, but only out of necessity for hot food as what little appetite previously existed had now vanished.
She said something else and I just looked up at her and feeling a little calmer replied.
"You just don't get it do you.  I've been out this morning not shopping just for me, but as usual with your needs in mind.  I bought you a stereo, the picture hooks, the new bowl you asked for and a chicken for dinner.  I come home to sit down to eat it and find you've whisked away the bloody salt and pepper pot into one of your huge pile of boxes, without even asking!  That is simply not right and you damn well know it!"
There followed some silence after that as once again she knew she was wrong, so did not reply any further.
By the time I had finished eating what I could off the plate due to the nausea of all this, she had regained a little courage to start on another topic, something about it all being my fault because of the friends I had made her suffer over.  Where on earth this suffering trip comes from I don't know, but it has always been a constant theme since knowing her.  According to her, everyone has brought suffering upon her, including of course me.  So I just answered back.
"Friends? I've only ever had two.  You blew everyone else's mind!"   Then continued."  At least my friends never said anything bad about me, in fact even old past enemies only ever showed respect when talking to others about me.  Where do you get off about people I knew, when all your so called friends have ever done is talk about you in negative fashion?"
She tried to put some feeble reason forwards so I just cut her reply.
"Look Eliza.  People I have known never bad mouthed you or me, unlike your so called goody goody buddies who are friends today and history tomorrow and then go spouting off about you, because your doing the same to some new friend."
She just ignored me and came back with.
"I don't gossip or call others bad names."
"You what?"   I said  "I have heard you, so do not sit there looking me in the face and tell such a huge lie!   I've listened to you slam others on the phone or at this very table when you've been entertaining someone.  You gossip badly about people, so don't say you don't!"
That was another no possible answer for her.  So quite descended once more and I went upstairs to talk with Liam who I knew was feeling a tad upset by it all.  Not because I shouted, though I did apologise to him for that, but because of what Eliza did with the salt and pepper pot.  He's still upset with her for taking the two beautiful pictures hanging in his bedroom.  We had bought them especially for his room and he really liked them. When he asked mum about them, she just said they would be in her flat and he could see them when he came there to visit.  Not a satisfactory answer and he knows it.  In a way its good that he experienced things like this, as I do not have to really say anything to him about mum and her actions, he sees it for real and proportions blame accordingly. If anything I try to help him understand his mum's behaviour and keep reminding him that she is his mother.  I shall even encourage him to visit her, which I know she will want, if only to find out insider info on what's happening at home.

  I managed to take his mind off it all by talking about the soon vacant prayer room and moving the master bedroom to there.  I know he would dearly love to have a proper five foot pool table, so we measured how it would fit in the other soon empty room. We even spent some time looking at prices and quality on line.  I told him that it was not possible just yet but maybe after the holiday we would see how much cash there was and maybe. Well, he knows his dad enough to understand maybe could be a yes soon, so he is now very happy with the thought.  It is his birthday in September, so we will most probably be playing pool together quite a lot.  I used to be a champion player and team skipper until my neck was broken, now I'm not unable to get my head right down and look along the cue, but I reckon I can still show him a few tricks standing up.  I will be very pleased if he can beat me.

  After that I came to check the emails which amount to several hundred daily, though most are junk of course. Found a couple of really interesting ones from one of Eliza's old friends who has found the site, which opened my eyes a little.
Reading one of them reminded me how Eliza long ago when we were in Portugal, explained some of the principles of Buddhism to me.  Not many days have gone by in fact, without Eliza quoting some passage to me and discussing how it all actually works.  Over the years I gradually came to the conclusion that maybe she was interrelating too many of the teachings into ways that suited her fantasy or delusion at the time.  This was possibly an underlying fact in my withdrawal from joining her for chanting or prayer sessions, though I do still believe in the real principles of Buddhism and have always supported her in every single way with the practice.

  On this particular occasion, she was explaining to me about the importance of a pecking order.  I remember her even showing me this passage and some of what it said, which in a nutshell was that.  First comes our family values and parents.  Next I think was all living creatures and third the Buddha and priests.  I remember also at the top somewhere was the provider, which of course I took to mean me.   I do remember thinking at the time that I was therefore reasonably safe with her, as in the religion she believed in so much, I and her family were at the top and came first.  Unfortunately the deeper she has become involved with the practice, the deeper her affinity towards the Buddha, who is now her lord, master, protector and provider.  Like she says.
"I am married to the Buddha. What he asked I do. If he calls I will go. He comes before any and everyone."
I believed that the first edict of Buddhism is to honour the family, which I still believe to be true.  Though for Eliza, this is now, like her fantasy's, all mixed up and only seen through her eyes irrespective of what is or what should in reality be.  Therefore she honestly believes that it is quite okay to just dump people or family to chase some illusion which she actually believes is her masters bidding.
Personally, I don't believe her master is going to be too happy about that and if there is a cause and effect, she is due a very big effect and I do not care to be in the crash zone when that happens.

  After a while, Eliza came down to the lodge all smiles and asked.
"Come into the kitchen to have a drink of sake with me and lets have a good laugh."
I just looked at her and replied very seriously.
"Good laugh honey?  I cant quite think of much at the moment I could find funny."
"Oh come on."   She insisted.   "Come and make me laugh like you used to.  We need it."
I just repeated.
"What is there to laugh about?"   Feeling really confused at the way she reacts to this entire situation.  Just like nothing is happening.
So, after a couple of minutes I wandered off into the kitchen, not exactly over enthusiastic about it.  But Liam was upstairs and needed to hear his mum and dad not in heated debate for a change.
I refused the drink as my stomach and person are too upset for any alcohol at the moment, so had a tea instead while she warmed up the sake.
We sat and small talked, or I should say Eliza talked, for a change about world events and seemingly unimportant things in comparison to the present situation of us.
Eventually, Liam came down to ask me something technical, so that broke the conversation chain and after a while I sauntered off to the lodge again while Eliza did her evening prayers and went off to bed.
Liam has just come in and wants me to tuck him in bed as he is very tired, so we had a little chat in whispered tones and played around a little, before a kiss goodnight.

  I am now back in the lodge writing this update on the days events, which in comparison to late, is not a lot.
Still its only eleven o'clock and the night could be young yet, especially if when I go to bed, she starts getting horny again and demanding satisfaction.   Guess there wont be too much more of that soon, as hopefully she will be moving sometime within the next few days and I certainly wont even be visiting her new place, let alone anything else.  That she will have to find elsewhere soon, along with the material protection, love and expenditure she has grown accustomed to.  I have made it abundantly clear to her over and over again, that once she goes, all bridges are burnt and there is absolutely no way back for her.
I reinforced this today in the kitchen while we were talking.
"When I move on from a bad situation."  I told her   "There is no going back.  Its a new chapter and past memories, especially bad ones, are erased permanently along with any one who caused them."
"Unlike you."  I continued.   "I do not dwell in the past or grieve over what was or could have been with anything. It just does not exist anymore.  That includes you."
And that is the way I am and always have been and its a good way to be I believe.  So there can be no doubt in her mind of the finality of her desire to chase rainbows.  She will walk out of here and never have chance to walk back in again, no matter what.  She will never divorce her true master and husband for a mortal being, or even allow a mortal to be considered above him.  So there can never be a possibility of Eliza feeling true love or respect for any mortal man.   What a lonely life, just her and her spiritual master.  Though that is entirely her own decision and making.  What she had here, not just me, but all that is, many women would possibly die for.  Yet its her choice to throw it all away to be married to her freedom and master.   While Mr Rich Dick to provide the material wealth she craves above all else for, is just a distant illusion.

  Only a fool would throw away solid reality for spiritual fantasy.   Only a very misguided fool would throw away the real bird in hand for an imaginary two in some distant illusionary bush.  I may be a fool today, but tomorrow I can look forwards to not being.  Eliza on the other hand will follow her journey of fantasy to its bitter end.  I know which karma I prefer.

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