GET GONE
The Beginning of an End to a Beginning
by Eduardo 

  Its nearly Get Gone time.  With now just a few days to go until Kenya, excitement is flowing and overpowers all previous thoughts at last. Memories are becoming less frequent though emotions are still on the sleeve sometimes.

Met with Eliza today for coffee and for the first time had a reasonably relaxed chat until things got around to us and the possibility of being together again. It hurts too much to revisit all the time so this will be one of the last meetings for coffee. I think she finally understands at least one of the actions that destroyed what could have been a Utopia.
This was the unacceptable second place role I had to play to her master. During the sixteen years of togetherness, everything good that happened, any benefit that appeared or positivism in our lives was always the Buddha's doing, not mine. Irrespective of how much I had worked to materialise it, someone else got the thanks and gratitude. That on its own was just about tenable, but then getting the blame for everything that didn't please so well, was the killer.
That demeaned me to the point of non existence eventually. I lost myself and identity eventually, without even realising it.

Got an email today from one of the fans out there, questioning falling in love with a very young woman and cautioning not to get hurt again. I think they were referring to Evelyn. Yes I know the possibility of a lasting relationship are small with someone so young. But if I can be a subjected servant and keep a fantasy alive for sixteen years in the face of such adversity, who knows how long this one could last.

As for falling in love with someone so young, who mentioned love? I am not entirely sure what it means anymore. Oh course the lastability is about as uncertain as the British weather. Though from what I have seen, it probably stands an equal chance as previous encounters with this love and relationship stuff. Whether it lasts or not is no longer the prime thought anymore, the disappointment of no togetherness for eternity has diminished that to nothing.

My emails are flooded with disillusioned women seeking the two basic things that no man has yet satisfied them with. Love and faithfulness. Some as young as 18 through to 50's.
They even send pictures and profiles of themselves. Reckon I should start a dating site with a difference!
All this tells me that there are not too many good males out there anymore.

Irrespective of what they say about equality, the animal instincts are still strong. A woman needs to feel loved by a male, it satisfies that internal part that releases those feel good chemicals inside her. But there is so much more needed to truly satisfy those instincts. The second highest of those needs is faithfulness, without which there is no feeling of the third necessity of security. The woman must know that her male is not going to simply wander off chasing another whim one day and leave her with nothing. This of course affects the fourth top requirement of protection. A man can be puny, skinny or weak but, if all the other requirements are there, the woman will feel protected in his strong arms.
With love, faithfulness, security and protection a woman can relax those tense concerns that flow so strongly through her entire being. Even though she may be totally unaware of what is going on, these are the basic elements and driving force that exist in all.
In the perfect relationship, there does not even have to be love, in its naturally understood way. If the elements of faithfulness, security and protection are satisfied, it will automatically feel like love and a much deeper relationship could develop on that.
Number five on the list is much hyped about and all sorts of attachments are placed upon it. Providing.
Since life began, the males purpose of providing for his female has been written in stone. Though life these days is somewhat different with thankfully, women in the work force and in many cases not just equal to, but performing better than the male counterpart. But animal instincts so indelibly stamped into our genetic structure, are not going to change overnight. The woman has a need to feel that her male is providing for her. Unfortunately, that male weakness has been well exploited by many women just looking for a steady provider and many who exploit it at the upper end of the scale, sometimes for millions. There seems to be more emphasise placed upon desires rather than needs these days and the basic provider type male is under increasing pressure to provide higher than the family budget will allow. Hence the huge debt pile in the UK, with around a hundred people each week losing their home as a result of chasing the impossible and failing.

So it seems the basic relationship requirements of love, faithfulness, protection and provision are not on offer from most males, especially the younger ones. Leaving even young girls looking at the older man in desperation of satisfying her inbuilt desires. In the fifties, if you saw a young 'bird' as the name went then, in the company of an older man, people would say "Look at that dirty old man!"
Then by the eighties it was "Look at that lucky bastard!"
Now its nothing. Walking around Richmond and London with Sumana, proved that to me. Oh yes, some older males would look with a twinge of green and the odd woman, with though a surprising reaction and totally opposite to the male. More in an approving look of a pleasure from seeing us as a couple. I found that quite an unexpected reaction and will study this and its implications over time, as it will give a far greater insight into the motivating forces of feminine nature.

So go on. Ask yourself. What is love? Are you in love? Are you getting love? Do you need love?
If your a man, go and ask someone else. Most of you would not recognise or understand it if it popped up and bit you on the bum! But if you want to learn and face your true self, which could make you very upset, then change is possible and true love achievable.
If you are a lady and more in touch with your inner self, then I hope some of these writings will give you a deeper look into the realms of real love and its virtues and how to retain it. After three wives and many relationships, I have crossed most divides and countless uncharted areas. Where the the road to success may be obscured sometimes, the road to failure is now pretty clear.

Firstly, there is no failure. Merely a lesson in how not to do something. More in the realm of cause and effect where, if you don't make the right cause you get the wrong effect. Edison did not have thousands of failures, he found thousands of ways not to light the filament in a bulb. When you really think about it, without failures where would be be? If everything just happened and nothing went wrong, we would never learn, discover or achieve anything with long term success. So discovering how not to do something is an integral part of our progress to hopefully, a higher level of achievement, wisdom and humanity.

Secondly, there are failures one accepts. Or, causes one makes yet willing to accept the effects it will bring. A business man may accept the risk of failure if the rewards for success are significant. If he does fail due to an employee or partner, then he would be an idiot to set up a new venture with the same people. The lesson is learnt and everyone moves on. An old saying my uncle Freddy used to like was "If a car lets you down don't sweat, there's plenty more. Its the end destination that's important." Maybe I should have been less tolerant towards faulty cars in my life. Instead of under the bonnet, tinkering around with loving fingers to help it work a little longer. He took no nonsense from his cars or women, if they let him down, they were instant history.

The risk of failure in relationships can be diluted by a lot of 'tinkering around' under the bonnet. And it would be true to say that many marriages are like old cars that need constant mechanical attention to keep working. There is a dividing line though between lovingly caring for and continual major repairs.
Where Freddy was a little too extreme, there is a lot to be said for minor repairs in a relationship. Virtually all problems between people can be resolved by dialogue, unless of course dialogue is already exhausted. This I would say is the biggest effect of a failed cause to be found in all relationship failures. People either wont talk or wont listen until its too late. When I look around at couples, its only the courting couples that are holding hands and communicating closely with each other.
Most couples seem in their own worlds and apart from each other. They have possibly never had a conversation of any depth, unless gossiping. So how an earth can they ever tinker around under the bonnet of a relationship, when they don't even know what a spark plug looks like, let alone an engine.

Unfortunately, human nature being what it is, you can tinker or work on a relationship to much as well. Whereas a car will look and perform better the more time you spend on it, being too caring towards another human can sometimes land you in hot water. In many cases, the effect is disastrous.
We tend to get accustomed to things quickly, especially if we like them. This can lead to complacency and expectation of that service at minimum.
The classic example would be a husband bringing flowers home every weekend to his wife. If he misses even one weekend, there's everything from pouting to suspicions of another woman! If he continues to forget the flowers which have become an false symbol of his love, it could trigger events leading to divorce!

While his friend next door hardly ever bothers. But now and again he does, which brings a big surprise to his wife who is all happy that he actually remembered for once in a blue moon. she cooks her loving man a lovely dinner then takes him to bed and makes him happy. They live happily ever after and no divorce.

Its that middle way of over and under indulgence that is so hard to maintain. Yet it is here that the best fun and contentment can be found and the place most couples yearn to be. It is so hard not to spoil someone you deeply love. But then you must ask yourself the question. Is it you they love or your spoiling? If there's no money for that super gift you usually receive on your birthday, are you aggrieved and hold grudges about it or, do you accept the present situation and remember all the past super surprises?
See how how the two types of reaction lead to either negative resentment or positive happiness? Such a simple thing yet makes a major difference between togetherness and separation.
There is nothing worse than doing something every day out of love yet receiving no gratitude, and then being court martialed for the rare day your unable to achieve it. That's usually the final chapter for most relationships. Its a very intolerable situation full of deep emotional anguish.

That's enough of pondering in the realms of relationships, its getting late and much to yet prepare for the holiday on Monday. Everything is looking so good for a change, there is actually a distinct feeling of positively in the air. Work is going extremely smoothly and producing excellent results while relationships? Ah, there lays another story. The sad parting with Jina and finalisation with Sumana this week caused some emotional stirring inside. But just like I've cleared my desk of anything outstanding, I am clearing my life. When we return from Kenya, a new era starts and new relationships will be formed. A bright future on a very real and simple new road is the way forward and Liam agrees completely.
Maybe I will return with the spoils of cause and effect hand in hand with a young lady. My only reservation is that Eliza created all the causes that has led to the effect of this new closeness with Evelyn. That leaves me pondering whether this path is my choosing, or am I being swept along by Eliza's causes.
Was it her karma to find me then lose me to some young African lady? Is that why she did what she did that way? To push start it all happening? Maybe I was supposed to have a fling with her and start it that way. I really am not sure about it all and quite frankly, past the stage of bothering anymore. All I know is the past few weeks have all been positive and benefits are materialising and I like the path I'm on. Whatever decision I make in Kenya, it brings me benefits. If I am meant to enjoy the pleasures of an 'African Dance' in my life, well that's just an added benefit, for however long it lasts.
Either way, my mind is more into the business side of things at the moment and with alliances in Mombassa possible, there are opportunities. Africa is an enormous power house of commerce, only just awakening from slumber. The consumer market is expanding and disposable income now exists amongst the working and middle class. Kenya is one of the more politically stable African countries and eager to expand commercially.
Seems a safe country to invest and be involved in.

Unless anything drastic happens over the next three days, I will be updating this chapter after twenty fifth July with all the juicy gossip and happenings in Kenya. Now, I must Get Gone.