GET GONE
The Beginning of an End to a Beginning
by Eduardo

  Liam came home on time around five thirty and Eliza arrived at six looking very radiantly happy. She went to some classy Morocan restaraunt she has found in the city, where they smoke the hubbly bubbly. No wonder she looks happy, she's been smoking it as well.
So that should be all nice and peacful until bedtime, which will be quite tonight as Liam is sleeping next door. So wild steamy windows tonight. Good anyway as Im itching again from last time.

  Showed Eliza the cottage I had found. Wow, she likes it. Mind you thats probably because if anything goes wrong in the future, she can always say it was my choice not hers. So its fixed for Monday to meet the agent at the property. Suppose I shall have to chauferre there and back. Time to go and buy some food for Liam and I, Eliza's already eaten so thats one less to worry about.

  Just returned and quickly cooked a couple of quiches which will do for dinner tonight. See if we can eat decently tomorrow. Eliza is 'flying the flag', so the bedroom will be much quiter for around three days. Anyway, must not forget my date on Monday and I should be sizzling my then. Hope she is not flying the flag as well. Just my luck eh? First date in sixteen years and I cop for that special time of the month thing. Remembered to but a box of condoms in Sainsbury's though. They look akay, It says things like Condoms, 'extra sensitive' and 'tickle pleasure', so should do the job. Ive put one condom in my wallet, two in my desk drawer and the rest in the bedside drawers. Think I will start using condoms from now on with Eliza to prevent catching this itch thing back again, apart from which, if Im doing it elsewhere, I should do anyway.
Oh I shall tell her if it happens, lets see if the same pictures form in her mind as it did mine when she started this stupid open marriage, Mr Rich Dick and seperation thing. Maybe on the other foot she wont be as polite about it all.

  Brought back a bunch of flowers, either for her or the house. Im not really bothered how she views things any more, she said thanks though when asking me to reach up for the vase on top a kitchen unit. I love the pungently powerful smell of lillies and often buy them for her as I know they are a favourite.

  Been doing the finances and by the time I transfer the savings over to her, set her up with this property with all the countless things she will ultimately desire and give her three hundred a week, I will be totally cleaned out. Thats why I paid for the holiday today as I can see the account rapidly shrinking. Our holiday spending money is already put away and safe. So at least nothing will endanger it.
I will have a few hundred left in the bank and a huge monthly increase in outgoings. Just hope these projects being worked on at the moment materialise on time, otherwise its going to be pull in the belt and economise for a while.
Another reason I need the maid back, its half the cost.
I explained the recent developments to Liam and how it was mum now that was moving. He asked as soon as he came home from seeing the bubble wrap and packing going on.
"Thats good then." He said and then asked.
"Are you going to rent the granny flat out?"
He fancies his chances of having it himself.
"No." I answered. "You know about the security risk with strangers around, even though eight hundred a month would be very useful. It's going to be just you and I here and we will be going out, so the home must be secure."
"So you can get Evelyne back then to work."
"If she wants to." I replied. "And if not, maybe someone else."
"Your better off with her. We know we can trust her." He said to me.
"Well, later on I might ask her. Yes?"
"Okay." He happily replied, tucking into the last pieces of smoked salmon slices.
"Will we see her when we are there?" He asked, cramming the pink strip into his mouth.
"Oh, I dont know son." I replied losing interest in the conversation. "We will see."
"Lets just have a good time, okay."
"Alright Dad." He replied, wiping his face and going off upstairs to play Runescape.

  Tried sitting indoors for a while to be sociable, but Eliza has the headphones on and attempting to sing in awful off key notes as she busy's herself packing. So decided to do a little more in the Lodge where its quite before bed.

   01:50
   Went to bed after Eliza finished at around one. She was already hard on after packing for over eight hours. I laid there for a while close to the edge, feeling the need to keep as much distance from her as possible. I just couldnt help the tears gushing out so got up and came down into the garden and let them come. Its a lovely warm night and I am just so upset at this stupidity. She acts like a five year old throwing a massive tantrums because she cant have an ice cream and hates her parents for saying no. With a kid you excuse it and or firmly control it with a smack if necessary. Maybe thats what I should have given Eliza, a good smack now and again to jolt her into reality more often.
   Theres not a lot left and the rooms are starting to echo. What started out as just a couple of boxes for the small stuff is already eight boxes and she reckons to need at least another five and some big ones and bubble rap. She is taking everything and I mean everything from the small plaques on the walls to every nick nack, ornament, statue and even the clothe they stand on. The huge sideboard is bare, the antique radios, gramaohone, old clocks, you name it. If its wrappable she's wrapping it. Even the indoor plants and pots are gone. I really thought she was going to accidentally pack a couple of dirty milk bottles earlier. From "I want to take a few things and need a few boxes" Has turned into a removal truck needed. And she hasnt even started on her office and the prayer room and all her clothes, bags and rubbish!
I hope she takes that damn portrait of herself. Another very expensive birtday present that cost me some zero's, I certainly dont want that piering down at me and pointing a demanding finger, she's welcome to it.
I thought I would be able to let her go nicely, but as each hour passes I just want her gone! I need to be alone and away from the years of pain from uncertainty this woman has caused me.
Speaking with Liam tonight as I tucked him into bed, he just turned and said out of the blue.
"Dont worry dad, mum will soon be gone and you start getting happy again, like you use to be years ago."
He's right. I havnt been happy, felt satisfied, or worthy for years. Its been just one long drag. First the accident, then Eliza sick fo five years and now shes better, I am at fault I suppose for the five years she lost. Now if we had come into a lot of money, it would have been the Buddha who gets the credit, but of course other people are to blame for bad things like contracting an illness. Dont quite no how she blames me for it, but I know from little things she has said recently, that somehow in her distorted pictures of everything, that I am fully the culprit. It certainly wont be her and she's illiminated all her friends and family bar one, so who else can she blame?

  So by the looks of it, there will be some furniture left and thats about it, the house will be bare and empty. I suppose she will want to take the bedding, towels and other linen. Well, she can have her day of glory and end up somewhere with a huge pile of boxes. But I will not be supporting her for long, so then her days of glory will abruptly end in hard reality. She's wanted a Mr Rich Dick for so many years, that now I am going to force her to find him, because in when I get back from Kenya, her allowance ends. She will just have to put her herself where her words have always been and damn well find Mr Rich Dick quickly, or starve and get thrown out on the street. Thats how I feel about her right now. She made her choice between the reality of true love and the illusion of karmic wealth, so she will just have to sleep on the bed she made. Having been tossed aside like a worthless rag in her frantic rush of illusions, I have nothing left to give her. So many of the things we talked about like staying in contact and meeting up as friends will simply not happen! Once she walks out of my life, that will be it. She shall never enter again, even for a minute. I shall gradually purge every thought of her from memory. I never ever wish to feel the deep pain this woman has caused me, or ever again allow myself to be belittled by her. The further she is from my life and thoughts, the better my quality of life will be, for I will not be feeling this hurt she crushes me with.

  There is one thing I have definately decided to do after today to just prove a point of independance to her and have a little vengeful back play I suppose. Tomorrow I will phone the maids family and try to reach her, at the same time I am sending the email I wrote earlier and imploring her to come back to work. But work is not my sole intention any more. I really think its time someone relly shoved reality right up to Eliza's nose. She may have left me an exhasted empty shell after sixteen years or draining, but they do say 'he who laughs last.....' There is one thing that would really give her reason to not forget what she has done. Not just get the maid back here, but woo her, coo her, buy her. Whatever it takes, I am going to use every skill in the book of manipulation to convince that young lady to be more than a maid to me!!
Eliza can then stick that in her perervial and suck on its indegestability. Hopefully, it will make so angry, she will go out with ten times more determination and force to find that Rich Dick, just to spite me.
She's always had this paranoia of people wanting to either steal her energy, her husband or possessions, or just siply wanting her out of the way to take over everything. So I am going to actually force one of her illusions that will be her nightmare to come true. Ive become a master at achieving the impossible for Eliza over the past years, so now I will make just one last illusion into a reality for her, sort of a parting gift in return for the gratitude shown to me.
   It was her illusions alone that conjoured up this latest thing about the maid, which was simply the straw that broke the camels back and a conclusion from a long line of similarities over many years. Even Eliza said this morning we owe her a gratitude fo being that straw and bringing this to a head, instead of just dragging on.
So she wanted to use this illusion to excuse her new karmic desires, I will make it a reality for her and do what Liam started some time ago, make her my mate.
I feel much better now that decision has been made. I also feel its a very fiting ending to a long line of illusions that have been destructive beyond imagination and caused more emtyness, frustration and pain than I ever thought possible to experience. I would gladly suffer the pain of the accident a hundred times over, rather than go through what I am now suffering. I beleive I said earlier somewhere about not feeling bitter, well may be a justifyable twinge has just crept in and if she does not leave soon, more will follow thats for sure, such is the human nature. When someone causes you such pain, its natural to grow weary of their presence and start seeking solitude and peace from them. If that is prevented from happening, the bitterness inevitably comes.

  I dont think I will ever forgive her for either not telling me I would always be second and convincing herself, everyone else and me that we were truly lovers, soul mates and friends for eternity in this life and beyond. I lived falsly blinded by that illusion for so many years. So many years that I could have been doing something positive for someone you truly appreciated me. So many years wasted in the false security of Eliza's words.
Soul mates by arse. Nice people dont even dump friends to chase illusions, let alone a soul mate! Especially a soul mate so rare who came to them from the mystic law in answer to years of prayers.
Its a load of old horse radish, thats what it is!
   The Scilian way of friendship and family is very strict with concrete morals. I was brought up to beleive that giving ones word is sacride. To break a promise was and in many families is still today, the biggest sin.
For that reason, I very rarely made promises throughout life in the belief that it is better to cut off ones own arm, than break ones word. My word has always been my bond and has won me great respect from others. The same applies to marriage and when they say 'for better or for worse, in sickness and health', in my books thats exactly what it means.
   I never even remotely thought for a split second of abandoning my family at any time in search of something else. To think of destroying us, was unthinkable, as was the thought of losing our relationship. My family have always been the most precious to me and thats without the soul mate trip. It never crossed my mind that Eliza was a hardship to me during the total of seven years sickness, or the five years I virtually bed cared for her. If I were that sort of human, I would have never said the words "I do." It would be against every good principal.
Ive had countless dreams, illusions and fantasy's throughout my life, some of which I desired very deeply. But no matter how deep the desire to chase those dreams, I could never contemplete tearing apart my family and destroying everything in reality to go chasing a dream like an irresponsible child. I know its a big world and there are people out there that habitually do this sort of thing, but Ive never heard of so called soul mates destroying their family, certainly not to go dream chasing anyway. Soul mates are supposed to be the example of togetherness and unity, not selfess pursuits without refard to others.

  But unfortunately to go without is traumatic suffering to Eliza and what she must have, comes first in her life. No I correct that, it comes second as her prayers come first. Eveyone else, including family must accept a perch further down the list. Me at number three, Liam at four and so on. The whole driving force behind this seperation is the effect of Eliza's must have's not coming first for many years. Its built up like a capped volcano crater until after Japan, it just erupted and lava has rained down ever since. The verocity of the eruption, which is the illusion breaking out into attempted reality, instantly destroyed most of our relationship and within a short period has destroyed everything that remained.
Eliza walks away from here with same amount of destruction in her heart as I. The only difference is, mine is real. Hers? Its only an illusion that was destroyed, so what? Move on into a better fantasy.
If you woke up one morning after sixteen years to an upside down world and suddenly discovered you had been brainwashed, used and dumped by the wayside, would you be feeling just a tad bitter?

  Its gone four in the morning and the first birds are building vocals for the dawn chorus and I should be off to bed, though I think I will take a while with a cigarrette and enjoy the early breeze and chorus. I am so glad at not having to move this office. The house is just another home, but this place is ideal and fully wired up and would have been a massive job to undertake.
Refurnishing the ornaments and what ever else Eliza takes will be a slow process I suppose. Everything in this house is authentically unusal and some are from far off places we have visited. Like the old brass army telescope on oak tripods that sits in the bay and the old wind up gramaphone with a huge brass horn, we rescued from some distant scrap shop and lovingly restored to its original glory. The radio collection going back to some very rare early transistor radios and even older small valve ones. We have around thirty radios which I have collected as antiques, serviced and made perfect working and they all resided on this huge oak shelved recess unit I built specially for them when we moved here three years ago. She's packed all the really old ones already, doubt she will take them all, but you never know. Gues she will be eyeing up the pictures tomorrow. And I wonder how long it will be before the few grands worth of floor rugs will be rolled up, or attempted to as they are staying. She's already packed a light one that cost more than most people earn. Another birthday present, the ungrateful woman. Thinking back to her 'birthday' karma thing. I have spent thousands upon thousands on buying this wholly unapreciative woman dozens of very expensive things. Nine hundred here, couple of grand there, like I say when she wants something its rarely cheap. But for a miserable two weeks that occurred only three times over sixteen years, and because for that brief period of time, Eliza did not get. She will remember until the day she dies and hold it against me. Thats why she cant have the bloody rugs or any more of me.

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