GET GONE
The Beginning of an End to a Beginning
by Eduardo

  Weds 25th

  What a deaf and dumb meal last night. Eliza had already fixed her own dinner, so I cut some meat off the shank and made up something.
She was in the open planed lounge with headphones on as usual and singing away to herself. The two cardboard boxes she had filled with photos and knickknacks and was sealing them with security tape. She must think someone will try to mess with her stuff and making sure. I tell you, she has a lot of paranoia about things.
She bothered to tell me to buy packing boxes, bubble wrap and tape tomorrow. So it looks like there's going to be some serious packing going on. Well at least that's good news. At least this path is staying solid and looks unlikely to change. Not that she's got much option really. She needs her independence, freedom and wealth so she must do what she must do to find it. But she's not telling me what I can cannot do once she is gone from here and my life.
Anyway, looks like I'm either off the list or about to be scratched off. I shall become yet another of those she has met along life's path, to blame for not reaching her goals quicker and to bring up my imperfections at every chance in conversation with whoever she can find who will listen.

  Due to careful pre-thought, I am not often wrong. Even Eliza has come to rely upon that when it pleases her. When I do bungle things, I admit it. Eliza is never wrong. Even if she says the moon is bright pink, she is not wrong. Its you who are blind to the truth.
I cannot honestly remember what was written earlier, it all happened so fast. But I will bet that some of the things I thought about originally were proved correct later. Were they not?
No, I don't think there is anything wrong with me or my requirements in life at all. They are totally realistic and based firmly upon reality, with a lot of supporting dreams and ambitions.
If I want a grass skirt maid from Honolulu, I will have one. If I want to drive a different car, I shall. If I want to wear white Nike suits, I will.
But I wont do anything irresponsible or allow my castle to be jeopardised. By the same token I will always protect my Son. If I was not serious of that responsibility I would not be here now and taken the easy way out living thousands of miles away near some beach.
Do you really think that if there was even a sniff of truth in Eliza's 'illuminations', that this girl was some black magic witch, I would have allowed her here in the first place?
I remember one of the many cleaners who was supposed to do some weird Christian stuff in the prayer room. I think Eliza had been reading something, maybe in Newsweek about these Slavic Christian based religions, into black magic and devil worshipping or something like that. Oh course, knowing the girl was from vaguely that area, it didn't take long for Eliza to have a sudden insight into what this young girl was up to. Obviously she was gone faster than dust off a motorway.
My perceptions may not sometimes be as acute as Eliza's, but they are a damn site more accurate.

  So I guess tomorrow its music on loud, Franky boy singing I did it my way, and feverish packing to greet the day. I guess as I'm nearing the list end, or maybe already off it, the bed action is likely finished. Not too bad actually, I'm quite sore from this sudden over feed. Since Eliza came back from Japan, we have both been ping ponging this soreness between us. Its a bit like thrush but will only go away by keeping washed and sustaining from sex for three days, which with her new desires, has been very difficult.
Whether its just goodnights from now on remains to be seen but if so, then trips up to the City will become stop over's, that I know for a fact. If Eliza wants, she must have and she knows just the right person to make it happen pronto.
Maybe a good thing to break this sex tie. Its not normal or natural when two people are going through such a traumatic separation that love making is on offer as many times as possible. Maybe in the films yes, I am thinking the last sixteen years has been just like a fiction novel. Even now after all those years I am still pinching myself sometimes to check its real.

  Just thinking about some of the first big expenses who ever is footing the bill will face. There's the teeth that I've already spent a couple of grand on and what Eliza wants done next will cost more than that.
Then there's the laser eye treatment. I actually got her booked in for a test once in the early days. But she went off the idea and I think the certainty of improvement may have been low or something at the time. But its been on the vocal vocabulary recently, so will be needed.
I can just see it in a few months time. A phone call from Eliza. "I've been to the dentist and he is waiting for your cheque to pay the bill. Oh, and is there any mail for me?" That would just be so much like her.

  Reflecting back as I sit here past midnight, I am remembering the only other time I really stood up to Eliza and she has never let me forget it. It was way back in the early years of Portugal, before Liam was even known about. I had this colleague Phil and I was involved in some pretty heavy stuff with him back in London. It involved a lot of back and forth between the two countries and sometimes a tad dangerous in London. Anyway, further down the line, I met Eliza and she got ideas about me making a zillion and expanding my little electronics operation from the small loja I quite happily owned. She accepted Phil as he was quite a nice kid, bit of a mummies boy, but very polite and easily embarrassed. He was quite handsome and a typical Mr muscles beach boy material with all the bikinis after him. Phil had this fascination for jet skies and part of the deal I did in london involved my ownership of one of the three we brought back to the Algarve. We had a few good days out on them and Eliza tried a few times and actually kept on one for a while. Me, I came off once, went under and the damned thing hit me on the head and semi knocked me out for a moment. I actually panicked before I realised I could touch bottom.
   We all enjoyed the summer when we would get together sometimes. Meanwhile Phil was renting out lessons on the skies as a small business deal between him and I. Don't remember what went wrong, but Eliza started going off him and calling him lazy. Guess he was a little too laid back, but his laid back was not hurting me. The few bucks we made between us wasn't much and it was more fun than anything else. That was Phil's trip, having fun. Hence why I didn't bring him into the business fully. We helped each other more at a distance, I would pass him some specialist work on from some of my clients and he would do likewise. Anyway this chatting with mates did not appease her ladyship, who had billions to make. Things gradually degenerated until she started despising him and attacking me about staying involved with such a lazy bastard.
   Eliza never knew the full extent of what I was doing at the time, so she never fully understood what Phil did for me and that's the way I kept it. There had been several times I relied upon Phil to watch my back. And you do not rely on someone for that unless you fully know them.
So it got so bad one day that I became fed up with this constant Phil this and Phil that, so I just turned around and said.
"Do I tell you which friends you can mix or talk with?"
Cant remember what happened after that except it got decidedly worse. I had dared challenge and that unleashed a torrent of anger. It was our first argument of hardly any over the years, apart from around two years ago of course. It got so out of hand that I decided to put a very firm foot down and that was my second big mistake. She started going on about I would have to choose between Phil and her. It was like she was insanely jealous of my involvement with him, yet she is not a jealous person, more devoid of it like me.
So I just said "Okay. Then if you give me ultimatums like that. You can go now."
I think possibly world war three exploded just after that. What she did not know was that Phil was already off back to London anyway. The winter was approaching, tourists were going and so were the dolly birds, so Phil was off. I was going to tell her about her problem with Phil being resolved as she wouldn't have to see him ever again, but never got the chance.
Anyway. That is something she still holds deeply against me and has brought it up a hundred times or more. She even incorporates into one of the reasons for this separation, that I took this Phil's side fifteen years ago. In her eyes I have taken sides ever since. It angered her that much at the time.
I learnt my lesson there and that was the first breaking of a man I guess. I was so joined to her that I happily walked in her shadow ever since I guess, until recently that is. And she is still trying to enforce who I associate with or do.

  Of all her friends and family who have gone through the vengefully mill over our kitchen table and that's a lot, sometimes in conversations lasting hours each day, I don't think I ever critisised her once for anyone she has ever associated with or been involved in in any way. Even if I saw something a little nasty in one of them that she didn't, I just kept comments neutral.
Provided they were not going to physically harm her, as far as I am concerned she can talk and mix with who she likes.
Her choice of associates on averages I would say, has been a lot worse than mine. Everyone she has known since I met her have been deleted to such extent, that only their locality can now be mentioned and never their name. I reminded her the other day.
"I can think of no one I have any bad feelings or resentment towards or any one that would mean me harm. My world, apart from you, has no devils or evil doings popping out everywhere and is peaceful. "
Her world on the other hand is full of past devils, not just from this life, but carried forwards from her many other lives she reckons to know about! While the present is a mixture of all that past and a bunch of dreams and fantasy's. No wonder she cant see anything in reality, as it is today.
I am thinking that this last sixteen years has been like a gushing stream rushing through me. I've enjoyed the thrill, but it has drained me of everything, even spirit. Yet I am going to miss that torrent of uncertainty and the good times it sometimes produced upon the crest of white frothing waves.

  Oh by the way, the strange stomach feelings. Last night while we were chatting over a cigarette in the kitchen, after a romp in bed. I asked her if anything happened just after eight? She looked at me and said no and how she had been having dinner with her friend at that time and they were having a good laugh. So I reflected with her on the previous occasion and twice while she was in Japan. She immediately replied that she knew exactly where they were coming from.
I picked up immediately where her thought train was going.
"Oh yes? Where?" I asked.
"You know where its coming from. You asked your Johnny (my guardian spirit) to go out and find where its coming from. You'll see!"
"But there's nobody out there that means me harm." I replied and continued.
"I know where your heading. You think its from Africa don't you?"
"I know it is." She answered with total conviction. "She's doing black magic and breaking up our marriage you fool."
"Her face came to me while I was at the Temple in Japan that evil black Christian witch."
"So you say my dear." I quietly replied.
"I'm telling you, its Ju Ju, I have felt it in my heart and it makes my heart feel hurt." She sadly said.
"We both have reason for hurting hearts at the moment and that has nothing to do with any black magic, it is because we are separating and its a terrible loss."
"Anyway." She came back. "You will find out I'm right. They are the ones, that evil black family of hers and your blind to it you fool. You think you can sense things? Well pooh to you, your nothing next to my powers."
"But this is local." I replied. "Its closer to home that much I know. If its not you then I don't know. With all these mixed up emotions at the moment maybe they are false alarms."
"There not false." She countermanded. "There real. That evil family of hers want our marriage broken up and me out of the way so they can all move here and take over. I'm telling you, that's where your bad feelings are coming from."
The complete impossibility of what Eliza was saying suddenly became clear to me so I challenged with a check mate, game over move.
"Okay. So if what you say is true."
"Oh it is my dear." She interjected.
"So if this is all true then." I continued. "Why on earth would they want to harm me?
Well talk about stumped as the logic of it ripped through her illusion like a sharp saber. She didn't reply so I continued to reinforce the point.
"This gut feeling is bad towards me. If they are doing what you are saying, then why? What's the point of doing something to me? I would be their most protected asset!"
Cant really remember much after that, except the conversation dried up and we went back to bed and sleep.
So no wonder she came up with today's sudden attack. After a nights sleep and a good chanting session, the logic disappeared and the illusion took over again. Hence the outburst earlier about the black families invading the house.

  Somewhere inside Eliza there must be a deep rooted sense of insecurity, maybe from being an unwanted child. For one thing I have noticed is that several times over the years she has hinted that someone wanted to take over what she had. And at least four or five times its actually become a problem. Various people have been accused of wanting to take over. There were two cleaners that she reckoned wanted rid of her so they could move in and take over her family, so they had to be fired. Or people have wanted to steal something from her. Each time it has obviously caused a ruckus between us. Even poor Tom who wouldn't hurt a fly, wanted her out of the way so he could have his friend all to himself.
Its been really stupid sometimes and I really don't know how I've managed to keep my cool and still calm the waters. Otherwise Eliza and I would have been over long ago.
Whatever it is inside her, even the strength of security she felt from me could not make her feel safe from this constant threat of loss.
In the early days I really thought it was because she had found her ideal partner, lover and soul mate as she was always telling me, and was uneasy that after all her searching, someone would steal me away. Then I started to realise it was deeper than that. She is not possessive, just plain scared of someone walking over her and taking.
She even has this extreme zero tolerance towards anyone she sees as a taker, which is anyone who does not contribute to her. Some bad paranoia's that's for sure.

  Weds 25th 11:00
   Quite today. Eliza woke me up around nine thirty. Wants me to go and buy boxes, bubble wrap and tape and drop her off in Richmond to pick up her jacket from the dressmaker and then she's off somewhere on the tube. Oh of course, she needs sixty quid spending money. No good morning, nothing, so looks like it might become a little more peaceful. She's eating out again today in the city so I can have a quite time I hope until she comes home later, if she comes home that is. Apparently day before yesterday, she tells me she nearly decided to stay overnight in the hotel, so its to be expected soon, at least I wont lock her out like she's done to me before. Give my sore friend time to heal as well, as every time we do it, I catch this itching and soreness from her. Its the sort of thing you get if you haven't had it for a while or change sexual partners. So I just put it down to three weeks without while she was in Japan and then too much, but this has been going on since then.  Every time I do it I get this soreness from her. So I'm quite pleased to be off her list at the moment, hopefully its permanent.

  I think I will go and see a lady I know who owns a local restaurant. She has always given me the eye in a casual sort of way and there is definitely a physical attraction if nothing else, I can feel it. She's about thirty, very slim and from somewhere in Europe. We have been smiling at each other for over two years and I actually asked her last week while I was there eating whether she was married? The way she replied no, left me in no doubt I have every chance if I take it. She has her own business so no strain on me and she looks very young and sensual, you know those come to bed eyes when she wants to.
   At least I know she can cook so I could be getting all I need there, instead of sat here writing this. Think I will go off for lunch now and set up a date for later in the week. Eliza is the one who wants an open marriage and it hasn't been the first time she has fantasized with me about having two men around. You would not believe some of the things she has brought up in the past and we have sat and seriously discussed them all, sometimes for hours. He could take her out dancing and all that while she had the security of her lovely husband at home. She never pushed it to happen thank heavens, but she was quite serious about it a few times and I know she found it sexually stimulating as it would always get her horny after talking about it.
This lady down the road has a part time boyfriend, I've seen him and he looks a bit of a drip. I've also seen the way she looks at him with displeasure. Finish my coffee and off I go as feeling hungry, for lots of things.

  14:15
   Great meal with European flavouring and I feel well fed. So how did it go? Like this.
"Hi." I greeted her as she smiled warmly at me. Only this time I returned the smile with everything switched on.
"Suppose I was to ask a young lady like you out for lunch one day. Do you think she would say yes? I asked.
She coyly twiddled her long hair and continued looking at me smiling.
"She would most definitely say yes?" Came the reply I dared to hope for.
"When?" I smiled back.
"I have a lot to do this week, but Monday would be great." She replied back, ouzing sexuality.
So she cooked me something and my belly is contented and my masculinity is somewhat restored.
This young lady is only twenty seven from Odessa in the Ukraine and she is trim. About five ten with long jet black silky hair over her high cheek bones. Not quite Shakira, but almost. There's me thirty years her senior and there she is a looker and eager for some serious company for a change, that is obviously sexually inclusive. Makes me feel good inside to know for sure what I had always guessed. I have no problem turning on the ladies, even the young ones.
Yep. I think the future is definitely Orange. And, why stick with one? I could have an African Monday, Swedish Wednesday and Latin Friday girl. That's hot cuisine and international hot nooky three times a week. If I want more, I could always double up on one. I come back to a beautiful and maid serviced home each day and spend long weekends with Liam. No more worries, concerns, intimidation, belittling, persecution, commands, tongue lashings, karma's, fantasy's, illusions, devils, demons, black magic or Ju Ju.
Back to some simple home normality for a while and recover from this turmoil.

  You know its really beautiful sat here. The lodge doors are open onto the garden and lawn as I watch the wood pigeons who live nearby. I have a parrot stand just outside the door with two feed bowls and I put wild seed and peanuts there every day for them. They land in the small fig tree about ten feet away, then fly onto the perch to feed, which is only about six feet from where I sit facing the door. The local squirrel is a constant visitor as he scrambles up the stand and sits atop the perch chewing a tasty peanut. Then he fills his crop with as many as he can cram in and he's off until tomorrow.
Other birds come to the seed and have nested locally due to constant food supply. There's a Robin, some Finches, lots of Sparrows and of course plenty of Starlings coming to feed, especially on the fat balls hanging from the lodge eaves.
Blackbirds and Thrushes visit the garden to feed on its lushness and there's one sat on a nearby tree singing its heart out right now. The wild parakeets and parrots have yet to visit the garden but they fly around the near trees in their dozens squawking loudly. So it really is relaxing here in this world I've created from virtually nothing and did it quicker than any professionals could achieve. But obviously not quick enough or big enough for Eliza.
Yes, once Eliza is set up and on her own karmic path, maybe things will return to normality and the harmony here will be complete again.
When she gets back, there is much packing to keep her occupied. I bought two rolls of bubble wrap along with five medium and one big box. That should be enough for all the small things she wants to pack. It will certainly keep her well occupied for a couple of days, until Valencia and the city calls again for some all night fun this time. I give it maximum five days from now before that happens.

  They say sometimes the flood gates open and it all comes at once. Well, I only started looking this afternoon and guess what, I had a call from a really nice lady whom I have known for some years within business circles. We have often chatted about our common professional interests and always got on very sincerely together. Anyway, I get this phone call out of the blue and she has asked me to pop over to the house later to give her some advice! They also say things go in three's, so I am waiting...
Seriously though, this is one very genuinely nice person. She has experienced unbelievable trauma in her life, yet rose up again above it all and is now heading to be an important lady again. She has always had my deepest respect for her courage and perseverance. It has left her unsure of others who she prefers to keep at a distance. One thing I do know, she would make a very nice companion and we could share a lot between us on common grounds by day and night. As far as I know there is no serious man in her life and I believe we could comfort each other. But maybe I'm living in false hopes with this lady, hope not though as I feel I could get to like her a lot. Nothing too heavy though.

  17:55
   Like I say, nice lady but last thing she appears to need is a man around anywhere in her life, even if no strings.
Sorted out her problem and will possibly see her again at sometime in the future, but for nothing else other than help. I don't sense she is interested, seems a little distant actually, so she is off my list of possible's, unless she phones me again tomorrow.

  Just got back and Eliza is upstairs chanting and no doubt packing afterwards, unless she gets another enlightenment to something or other. Anyway, I have my date for Monday so what should I care.

  18:28
   Eliza just came down to the lodge saying
"I want my thirteen pounds."
She gave my colleague some money last week so that when he went near the Japanese store he could buy her some of Measo soup she likes. But of course when Eliza wants it must be now. If you don't action immediately for her, you become another useless slob in her eyes and that is what my colleague has just become. He doesn't have a car and goes on foot, the shop is miles away from his usual haunts though, sometimes he might go there.
But he hasn't been that way yet and so Eliza demanded her money back. While she was waiting for him to finish on the phone, she told me.
"I want my money from you now."
I had already told her I would transfer half my savings to her. Well she got the letters this morning with new cheque book and cards. Now she wants the money transferred immediately, so that's first job in the morning I suppose, loose a big pile of money. Not a bad parting gift I suppose, a good few grand in the bank most bills paid and three hundred pocket money a week. Until she gets a job that is, or she finds her Mr Rich Dick. Then she is his problema, pronto. I give her three months out there on her own and that's it. My paying her bills stops. I will still support her, but not three hundred a week that's for sure. She will have to face the reality of what she threw away, perhaps then when its too late for her, she will appreciate what she had, yet flushed from her life in pursuit of the karmic path she may never find.

  After she had gone, he turned to me and said.
"How long before this is finished and she is gone?"
"End of June or preferably sooner." I replied.
Now bear in mind he knew nothing about all this and still only knows what he heard Eliza shout yesterday. But from that brief earful he was able to deduce an opinion, because he turned to be and continued.
"Because this black magic stuff must go." He waved his arms like saying to push her away as he sometimes finds it difficult to explain in English.
"And go very far." He added "Thousands of miles, because this Ju Ju stuff is no good."
I could tell he found it all most unacceptable and sees Eliza in a totally different light now.
That's the effect she has on people you either love her or cant get far enough away. While you do her bidding, she will love you, but if you stop or slow down, your toast and on her despised list, which is long.

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