GET GONE
The Beginning of an End to a Beginning
by Eduardo

   Tuesday 24th

  14:50
   Oh my God, talk about crazy? Today she has really flipped. This morning started out chatting, but she was obviously on edge as she was last night when she eventually came home about eleven. They must have been talking about all this black magic stuff, for this morning as we talked it soon arose again.

   It all started as we talked about the future over coffee in the kitchen, her new house and what I would do. I explained my concept of losing myself into work and how I did not want anyone else in the house, especially in any kind of relationship. And how I intended to find a lady who was finacially well off enough to not place any demands on me, had her own house, needed some secure company and get a good dinner and nooky there once or twice a week. Nice simple life. The question of having a maid again arose and I said that the previous one was the best we have had and she was trustworthy with the property. I told her that security here is my main concern, especially if living on my own and would not have just anybody in to keep house.

   Well, then of course the talk about how the christians were evil and the blacks are monkeys and in Africa they are all doing Ju Ju and black magic. It went on about how they would curse me and strip me of everything and leave me drained of life and all that stuff. I keept saying to her and trying to make joke of it, how she should get a job with the National Front, they would love her! Now always be careful when you say something to Eliza, even if its only once. Because she may remember it and twist it up in some fantasy. So I told her many years ago that I had been with an African woman and how her skin had a funny smell, but I loved their backsides. Actually, it came up after we had been to a disco and I had been watching her on the dance floor, totally gone to the music and her trip. She danced just like an African girl around the camp fire, bottom out and sheer gone in the boogy. I told her afterwards that she must have been African in a previous life as she danced exactly like them and how she stuck her cute bottom out and it got me horny.

  So this morning, she started going about how I like Africa because the girls have nice bums that turn me on.
"They can bend over and you have there areshole!" She shouted out. "I know thats what you all like"
"Go with a monkey if you want to come down so far in life!"
It just went on and on as usual. Though it was a little heated now and again, I managed to keep making her laugh now and again, so diffusing the situation, which I am becoming a master at now out of necessity.
So I let her continue about how everyone she meets in her life she is just going to give them Buddhism and tell them to chant. "If they want okay, if they dont they can f***k off." She adamantly states.
I must admit that as each day goes past she is becomming more and more consumed into her beliefs. Each day has its many long lectures about Buddhism and what one should do, Its starting to be like a constant sermon. Also she keeps going on about her mystical powers and how I have never seen how mighty they are and how she is going to start using them more and how everyone will see then!

  Then it got into how now we are not allowed to mention all these people that according to Eliza, intend her harm. We must never mention there names, just the place where they live. "That woman from Kilburn instead of her name" she explained.
The reason? Well speaking there name is going to allow them to phycically attack her or cause problems in her life. So by not mentioning their name, they can do nothing to her. Okay, fair enough. Somewhat radical but livable with.

  Then came the killer. She knows that Liam and I are planning a nice cheap holiday in Mombassa at a resort for about ten days so asked.
"Mombassa? Isn't that where that Evelyne flew to?"
"Yes I replied she went to her sisters first I beleive."
I didnt want to tell her that the poor girl was so confused and fraught with it all, she was ashamed to go back home straight away to her family. She explained on the way to the airport how there in Malindi, it would be a huge disgrace for the whole family that she got the sack and sent back home. But as always, I was obeying another of Eliza's demands and haid no real say in the matter.
I understood her as she spoke between the tears and felt ashamed at being part of the disgrace forced upon her. Having lived in Kenya and mixed a great deal with Kenyan's, I am fully aware of the morales and deep family issues they maintain. Its very much based upon the old English system, spare the rod and spoil the child principles. School, unlike the unruly UK, is still based upon sound teaching and the three R's. During my time there, despite the polital unsettlement back then, I often thought how sad it was that back in the UK these important building blocks in families had been abandoned.
I really enjoyed by time there and could feel at peace, thats why I took Eliza and Liam there to show them and they also were captivated by it.

"She lives in Malindi with her Mum and family. As you remember, she wanted to buy some land and build there for her family" I continued.
"So are you thinking of bringing her back?" She asked, drying her hair in the adjoing wet room.
"Even you agree she cleaned immaculatly and at least I can trust her to look after the house."
"And" I added. "I dont want the risk of bringing strangers in."
"But quite frankly." I continued. "I very much doubt she would want to come back, especially here."
"But then you can f***k that African bum you always told me you liked." She answered.
"In my dreams." I replied with a chuckle and added in fun. "I wish."
Probably shouldnt have said that, but all seemed so ridiculous at the time.
"Oh she will come back." Eliza said and sarcastically continued. "She will service your dick and move the entire family here. You see."
"She will come here and do spells on you. I'm telling you."
"Look at my ex!" She reminded me of how her ex Potuguese husbands second wife had put a spell on him to serve her every little whim, well thats what she reckons anyway. I thought instantly as she said those words how I had been under Eliza's spell since the day we met and how I have endeavoured and sometimes failed, to satisfy her every whim over the past sixteen years and look where that got me!
It was left at that and I think another sermon on practising Buddhism correctly while I finished coffee and a cigarette, about Buddhism and we parted amicably enough, Eliza off to chant and me to the office.

The webmaster and I are sat here quitely working away and then Eliza came in. Now I have seen her nearly loose it a few times, but just now, she lost it totally.
She started shouting
"If you intend bringing some witch to work here after I'm gone. I'm warning you. I'm warning you." She frothed and jabbing her 'demanding finger' at me as usual.
"I'm going to the home office and telling them about this woman being a with and practising black magic. They wont let her back in!"
I looked at her vengful face and kind of laughed a little in amazment.
"Dont you laugh at me. I'm telling you! I'll go to Scotland Yard and tell them this woman does black magic and Ju Ju like that cult."
I just keeped staring in dissbelief of how far this woman would go.
"But they will think you are crazy. Listen to yourself, you have visions about this or that person doing black magic and go walking into Scotland Yard and they will say this woman is crazy. Do you really want to show yourself up like that?"
"I'm warning you!" She carried on raising her angry voice even more.
"They have a special division for black magic stuff. You remember that boy and all that Ju Ju stuff?"
"Yes." I replied. "They found parts of a boys body in the river and discovered he had been part of a sacrificial black magic ceremony."
"Yes!" She snapped. "And I'm going to tell them that this is another one of them black bastards and she's here doing Ju Ju in my house!"
Altering tempo she continued. "I will bring all the police done here. They will disrupt your whole life. I'll tell them she did Ju Ju on my husband! You see!!"
"If you bring any black whitch in here I'll f***k you up so bad."
Then she started on about what would happen.
"I know there game. Get in here, move all their family here. You think I dont know their black evil game!?"
"Theres no black coming in here when I'm gone. You'll see. You dont know my powers. So there."
She stormed off out into the gardens laundry room, leaving us reeling from the sudden attack.
My webmaster leaned over to me and said.
"Seems like you have real serious problems boss."
He knows we are seperating but knows nothing of anything else.
He looked at me very strangly and couldn't help laughing when I innocently said that Eliza was not raciest. We then joked how the UK KIP party would love her as their ambassador.
Then she came back again though this time I switched on the desk recorder as this was a very violent attack and was starting to ring warning bells of concern. It went like this.
"If you allow a black woman into this house, I will turn your life upside down. Yours and hers. You will be the loser, I'm warning you Edward!"
I looked up and said rather dismissively. "Why dont you go and do what you say. Write the letter go to Scotland Yard."
"No! Dont make it happen. Because it will! I'm warning you."
"I want you to do it." I challenged. "I want you to do it so you might wake up to reality."
She just kept repeating "I will! I will!"
"Go on then." I chalenged again.
"No. After the event. If you bring her or any of her family into this house. I will. You'll see!"
"I will go to that special squad. I will says shes practising black magic."
"They will laugh at you." I replied.
"They will not laugh at me you will see. You wait and see. They will not laugh at me. You will see!"
"Do you really want to make such a fool of yourself." I repeated.
"I dont care!" She quipped. "Ill tell them the whole truth and nothing but the truth. About the whole bloody lot!"
Whatever the "whole bloody lot" is I dont really know. But now she is suddendly obsessed that some African woman is going to Ju Ju me and move her entire family from Africa into this house. Wow. What a paranoia.
"And dont think you wont loose. You will and she will loose. Youll see. I'm going to write to the home office."
"Go now please and do it." I calmly replied.
"I will. Im going to write to the home office and tell them by letter that she broke up my marriage and she's gone. She's a gonna!"
"Go on then." I urged her again. Thinking the best way of dealing with illusion is bring about the confrontation of making it happen in reality.
"I will youll see. Dont laugh at me, Im telling you. Dont laugh at me!" She started shouting.
I coulndnt help hanging my head down in a sad shake and saying. "Your crazy."
"Im telling you. Im warning you! I am not crazy! Continue with the crazy and see who goes crazy."
I looked up at her and said to her quietly. "Youve gone over the top again."
"We will see whose crazy." She kept shouting.
"Your the one who will go crazy." She continued. "She will give you potions and powders that will send you crazy.
"Dont call me crazy. Because your the one who will go crazy! You will see."
"Im going to Scotland Yard." She stated.
"If you go to Scotland Yard with that tale, they wont just call you crazy, they will call the funny farm."
Then she just continued warning me.
"Im warning you! I'm warning you! Ill stop praying for you, just like that!! Im warning you!
"Don't bring that black woman here! Im warning you!"

  I have a very thick hide but can take only so much. I hadnt really held out much hope of getting the maid back again and diddnt really know if I was going to try. All that was too far in the future and the present demands every bit of reality I can cling to. But seeing her turn like this and the hatred this woman exudes towards black christians really has shook me into trying to do just that. I will try to apologiese and ask her back, even if for only a year. All I think I would need to offer her is the opportunity to the other half to her dream, the money to build that small home for her family, which is a years savings. I have never challenged Eliza before on such ferverantly beleived grounds, but this is my life now. She may have dictated to me for sixteen years but all that will shortly be over.

So I looked firmly at her and felt the blood race as I laid down the challenge.
"Okay." I said. I will do it.
"Do it. Do it." she kept interjecting.
"I hadnt made any decision one way or the other, but now. Thats enough, so I will do it. It is my life."
"Do it." she bellowed back. "You do it."
"You do it and see." She kept laughing back at me.
"Do it. Youll end up like Mercia. Go on Do it." she continued
"Do it! Youll end up like her. Do it.!
She half went out of the lodge and drifted back to the door saying. "You bastard. Your ignorant. Arrogant idiot, thats what you are."
As she wandered off into the garden again I heard here repeating the words. "Arrogant. Arrogant idiot"

I leaned over and apologised to my collegue, just as she came back in again.
"And going to Ju Ju land Mombassa. Eh? You idiot!"
She went off again, but not for long.
"I will write to the home office and tell them that woman broke up my marriage with black magic. I will."
"Go on then." I encouraged. "When they tell you it is fantasy, maybe you will wake up to reality."
"Its not fantasy, its real." she replied and then added. "That corpse in the river was not fantasy was it. A little boy with no head and arms. Yeh. Yeh."
I implored her to reason "If you go in there with that story they will lock you up!"
"Yeh. Yeh. We will see." she kept mumbling as she went off again for a few seconds.
I heard the continuing rambling of something as she came back. Something about African girls and " I always knew thats why you wanted to go to Mombassa. So you could have black magic done on you and stay there with them all. Stay with all them monkeys and get aids. Dont you take my son there!"
And that was it, off she went to do housework, leaving me to write all this.

   How do I feel? A little shaken by the verocity of it all, but ive seen less strong outbursts several times and not always against me, unless I was the only scratching post around.
It has made me realise I need away from this womans rapidly escalating karma and revenge trip. Over the past two weeks there are increasing reasons for this break up. Initially and after much painful discussions Eliza and I admitted to each other the reasons for this situation and, in a nutshell they are that she is totally happy with man one to three that I am but cannot continue her life without man four, or at least the equivalent in money. Hence why she came up with the open marriage concept to keep the best of all worlds.
I have allways known her wealth desires may one day outstrip her love for me, especially after the accident. We have even apologised to each other. I for not providing that which she sought and her not being able to change her karma. We part on those friendly terms I foolishly thought.

  Since then, she had a few days where it was all my fault for dragging her through the mud and if I hadnt stood up for so many people I would not have lost her love and thats the reason for our breakup.
Then it changed into all of the others but primarily because she wants freedom and independance away from others bad karma's. And thats how it remained until a couple of hours ago. So the new reason is this African woman has done Ju Ju, black magic or both on me and intends to invade my house and feed me potions. And its her thats broken the marriage up.
Hey darling. Got news for you. Its these crazy spiritual fantasies that finished us off.
Life could have been so peaceful and rewarding for all of us, now its in tatters due to ones karma.
   I think that this reason will take main root. The black christian woman witch that did spiritual Ju Ju to break up our marriage and move all her relatives into the house and controll me with potions. Now that fits much better into the kind of fantasy's that I know likes. Anything with some mystism and shes there, avid to hear more. And this sits nicely. Firstly the entire blame can be shifted from both of us essentially, but mainly from her. Someone did Ju Ju. Easy excuse.
Secondly, she can have even more reason to feed her vengence upon the Christians.
Thirdly she can get back at the black 'monkeys'
Fourthly it gives her a concrete reason for wanting to be rehoused quickly.
And lastly, it gives her reason to break the final ties between us, as I will be seen to have sucumbed to Ju Ju. And such a person may not be associated in any manner with her life or memories.

  So yes just to make my own stand for once. I will ask the maid back and offer whatever it takes, irrespective of humbleness to try to make it happen. Then we shall see. As I have said, a nice but remote lady friend, the maid to keep house, Liam to enjoy and go out with and plenty of work to keep me occupied. Thats all I need if I am going to be staying here. I like my home and unlike some, I admire my workmanship and derived great satisfaction once from it. I like my privacy in the castle I created and will be very happy by myself inside it. So Eliza can say what she likes, I have followed one too many of her paths or where pointed finger bid me go, if she is not satisfied with what I can provide then she needs to find another solution and get the hell out of my life, leaving me to enjoy what I can provide. Thats it, thats how I feel.

Just been up to get some cigarettes from the kitchen and Eliza was on the phone, I suppose to Valencia as she crossed every one else off as far as I know. Unless one of her dark ex friends has popped back on again, as sometimes happens. Any way she's going on about how its a sin to live off others and how she's always worked and happy to be working. Oh course Valencia is trying to convert Eliza to her ways, so they can have a right old time. Eliza is perfect, younger and more attractive, educated, dresses well and thirsts for adventure and fine things. Which is exactly the other ones trip and, she knows where all the rich toy boys hang out, as she uses them enough. So of course there are sympathetic ears on both sides and they can feed off each others dreams and fantasy's. Gosh if ever her friend reads this.

So when I sat down in the office again I thought I would start this maid thing rolling. I have a phone number which I think is for her Mum as she used to ring from here and I have it on the bill. So I will leave a message for her to read her email, if that is she still has it at the Internet cafe in Malindi. So what do I say? I think something like this.

My Dear Evelyn.
Please accept my personal apology for what transpired here. I know how much this job meant to you in achieving your dream of building the small house for your family. I am aware of the way you were treated by Eliza and do apologise for the many tears caused. I also understand the shame you must have eventually faced from your family and again, I unreservedly apologise for that.
However, during your short stay with us you kept house to a standard no one else has ever achieved. You actually satisfied Eliza with that and she told you so. You should also know that you are the only person I know who has been told that by Eliza, and there have been many.
Well. Things have changed much here. I find myself living here alone as Eliza has gone to live elsewhere. I am therefore in need of a maid. Someone who I am able to trust like yourself.
I would also demand the same high standards as you know, but the arrangements and pay would be exactly the same as before.

I can promise you that Eliza or no one else will bother you here and you can peacefully finish the remaining year.
At the end of which you will be able to build that house on the land you have already bought. So your dream has another chance. If you would care to take it.
Also as before, you can take the day release college course in computers at the local college where you enrolled.
Also Liam would be very happy to see you back and has told me so many times.
I do hope you will decide to take this opportunity in total trust that this time your stay will be happier.
I await your reply. Eduardo.

What you think? Reckon that should do the trick?

   19:30
   Oh course what I have failed to say so far that may explain it further for readers is that Eliza always comes up with these sudden enlightenments as she calls them, after spending an hour or to chanting.
Virtually all the various paths and directions she has gone in, have always been an enlightenment to what she must do.
Most of her ideas, and some have been excellent, came after chanting. Most of the people she has crossed off her list were for realizations while chanting.
Its a bit like this, Eliza chants, has a realisation that there is something bad in you she hasn't seen before and that's it. Your toast. You can be the nicest or nastiest person in the world, you're still toast and burnt to a cinder at every opportunity, unless you get the hell out of it.
Or, she has a realisation of a new direction she must go in and that's it for everyone. Its Eliza wants, Eliza gets.

  I believe whole heartedly in Buddhism, but one must always control the boundaries between the unseen spiritual world and the real one! Its a fundamental must whatever one does or whatever religion one may follow. While it may be true that desires are the driving force for ambition and achievement, if we attempt to force them into material reality against the realms of normality, then it just does not work. Harness ones desires and use them as a driving energy to achieve yes. But to demand their appearance in the real world as your karmic birthright can only be considered a fantasy. To proceed another step and be convinced that all ones prayers will be answered on time and in the order requested, is to far. Not because prayers are not answered, they are. But when one prays it is usually for achievable goals within the realms of ability and normality. One would not pray to be on the next flight to the moon, have your name across the world yet never been on a plane in your life and then get in a state when it obviously did not happen. Would one? I don't know anymore.

  I've just been up to the house and heard her upstairs chanting and wonder if more sudden mystic revelations will come up after she finishes. Well I'm going in now to make some food, so we shall see.

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