GET GONE
The Beginning of an End to a Beginning
by Eduardo

A day out at the park with the kids. Great time with the legs of lamb, rice and drinks and all came home happy with the day. Hopefully next time we can set of early to one of the beautiful beaches we picnicked at last summer.
When we arrived home the discussion was back to housing again over coffee. That all ended rather unpleasantly as she now firmly states it was all my fault and the suffering I've put her through by denying her all these years and always taking side with others has driven us apart.
"No its not my dear." I tried to calmly reply. "Its this wealth karma of yours that's driven us apart. Nothing else. Everything else in our lives has either been challenged and dealt with at the time or, was going in the right direction. Its your justifiable desires and illusions that created this."
"As for taking sides" I added. "Yes I admit to sometimes taking sides, which should not happen in a normal relationship. But our relationship is anything but normal and you attacked people with so much anger and venom, that by instinct I try to defend them when I know that such a caustic chastising is unwarranted."
Obviously E has never seen it that way. Well, in hindsight, maybe I should have just stepped back and let Eliza vent her wrath upon those around her. But I was not born that way, I still care about humanity and others, irrespective of where they are from and yes, I am proud to say I do have an instinct to help those suffering injustice. Obviously such instinct I have learnt over the years must be used wisely, otherwise there are many who will take advantage. Anyway, this her new set in stone picture, that I have denied her that which is rightfully hers, stood up for others and what ever else is later added. Up until two days ago, even she knew and freely admitted that her wealth karma made it impossible for us to continue this relationship, now all has changed in her mindset.

Well you will never guess what the latest fantasy is. I had an affair with the maid.
I wish. Must admit though she had a really cute backside.
All this came up from the latest idea for resolving where who lives. For me to move is going to be an enormous task as it includes a big office and staff. Additionally it has been extensively adapted to accommodate a wheelchair if needed and even includes a modern two floor integral lift, that cost about twenty five thousand.
So Eliza is considering moving into her own rented accommodation with the local housing association as the right to buy still exists and she would like to be able to do that in the future. In theory that is a wonderful solution, even though she will probably stay in the borough and I am a little concerned over proximity and future developments. Things have a habit of getting nasty, no matter how hard one ex-partner may try to prevent it.
Apart from that, the concept is sound and more realist all round. But, and there's always a but. The sort of property that Eliza wants may not fit within the realms of realism. Up market area, with garden, three bedrooms, close to train for London, in this area and of course, immediately available.
Assuming that such perfect location and property is found in the next two months, there are additions. That I pay to have it decorated to at least her present standards, complete with polished wood floors. In as she said "Fitting for me and its what I deserve."
Same old problem. How to find something fitting for her highness in record time. I've been there many times before. Hope I can make at least enough of this fantasy come true for all our sakes. Because this is just draining me. Seeing her every day and wanting to hold her and say lets work it out. Then the despair of realising what's the point? What can I offer her that I have not already? Sure it would buy a couple of months tranquility and enjoyment but that's all, until the first class twelve grand holiday to an exotic island is asked for and expected as her karmic right. She is now in a state of desperation for the things that she must and has been beyond the point of no return for some time.

Going back to the imaginary maid affair. This was thought up by Eliza as a way of getting housed very quickly. She thought that using the adultery trip, would give moving priority. Until I explained the reality of that may be fine for the divorce courts but would carry no weight for housing urgency. They only consider things like personal harm or criminal activity and such major events for quickly housing a separated partner. Problem is that now I think she is possibly going to adopt this latest fantasy into reality. After all, the maid has already done Ju Ju or her and black magic on me. So why not add that she seduced me under the full moon and had wicked sex with me? Oh lovely, please, yes please. Anyway I am sure this will be added to her fundamentalist opinion list shortly along with many to be yet added.

Just been back in for another chat, its so difficult today as I feel so spiritually low. A huge chunk of my entire future life has been ripped out. Irrespective of who lives where with whom, I will always have that hole. When in realism, Eliza is the most wondrous person you could ever hope to meet. Honest, faithful and many times funny. But the increasing desire to force fantasy into reality and the ferocity directed at those in her way, makes her intolerable to live with.
I sincerely hope she finds what she is looking for out there without to many disappointments. Maybe there's a nice rich Muslim guy just waiting to make her another wife and shower untold gifts upon her, who knows?

Me? I am sticking to the reality of what's achievable within the normal boundaries of thinking. So, if I don't need to move from here and IF Eliza gets a house that suits her by the end of June, I need to prepare yet another scenario plan. If I am living here, then I seriously think it will definitely be on my own, at least for a long while. I can lose myself into work and during the night as well. I'm sure I can find some nice young lady with her own house who needs a little company and nooky now and again from her visitor. Get the maid back into the granny flat and she can run my house and make sure I eat well. At least I know her work is good quality and I just couldn't be bothered to train someone else into all the special ways one likes things done. I may not be as demanding as Eliza, but I also have high standards and like my environment to be homely yet polished. And that I have seen she can do very well, at least for another year until her visa runs out. Gives me plenty of time to find a suitable replacement meanwhile, I can relax from all this pressure for a while. Spend time with Liam out and about when he's home and work for the rest. Not forgetting the holiday in Mombassa I promised him in July, which in all this uncertainty I have done nothing about. Though I imagine there are always cancellations and spaces available for two people somewhere there.

For now, she must register with housing and go there for a meeting as they will want to hear my comments to support her necessity of moving out from our home and resultantly, be re-housed in the borough. Then the wait for the right property and that could take months upon months. So a safety solution must be found for if this does not materialize by June end. I have suggested and Eliza appears to agree, that she will rent something privately while waiting for the right house. As that is the only solution to certainty of a date when this separation physically happens, which is now June end according to Eliza and that I can live with, I hope. Obviously a three bedroom house in Richmond near the tube is impractical at over two grand a month. Apart from which if she already had a three bedroom home, they would be in less hurry to give her a house. So I reckon the same as I was looking at up to a thousand per month for a one or two bed town house, which does not buy much around here where even houses on council estates fetch up to a million. As she wont have started work by then, the housing will pay her rent until the job is found, which will alleviate a huge burden from me. Obviously, the fact that she needs three bedrooms - one for Liam when he stays and one for a prayer room, will encourage the council to house her quickly to ensure legal responsibility.

So unless there is a mind change again which is always possible, that's the way its going down. Who knows what tomorrow may bring. I could get millions of people on my websites and make a mint, or I could just get a few thousand and make much less. Mr Rich could appear without much dick or Mr Dick could appear without much rich. One thing for certain though, she will never find a Mr Love to love her as deeply as I have. Or a Mr Intellectual to spend hours upon hours in deep conversation about mind blowing subjects. Let alone find her dream of an 'all in one' which I think she accepts now as fact. In her eyes, I may not be the best, but she will have to search this planet very thoroughly to find one that's better. That's no conceitedness, it is a fact. I am a very good man, even E will say that. My failure was not providing the materialism she saw as her inheritance by right. And, as she reminded me earlier, my disability has denied her the boogy nights out dancing to early hours, which she also suddenly craves for. I dare say it also prevents a lot of other things in her mind like walking over distant hills yet to be climbed or ancient monuments in far off lands to be explored on foot. I once did a tour of Lisbon on foot with her. Up and down all its seven hills she took me, sometimes in torrential rain that made huge gushing rivers of the sloping roads. I was exhausted from the pain by the time we got back to the hotel and vowed, never again.
Now she tells me that she is going to be a loner. Live on her own and does not want anyone else's karma living with her.
"I am married to the Buddha and he will protect me."
"But how are you going to get all this wealth?" I asked. "Who is going to provide it?"
"There's the book or when the time is right I will meet the right person" She answered in total conviction.
Then she just reiterated how she wanted her life to be going out and having fun and enjoying fine things. Though I could not tie her down to a definite answer as to how this would all be possible, as she always reverts to, the Buddha will provide and there is precious little argument to that statement, as to do so would be challenging the Buddha in her eyes.

So its off to bed and some wild action under the covers.  As Eliza says. "Its free at the moment so lets enjoy the moment."

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