GET GONE
The Beginning of an End to a Beginning
by Eduardo

   Thursday 09:40
   Woke up to Eliza chanting in the prayer room, so dressed and went down for a coffee. The chap from the local housing company is due soon. I hope he has solution by way of somewhere for Eliza to live. After last night, its obvious this is nearly finished. Oh, she didn't refuse my hand went it wandering over her body last night. All the same wild sexual passion, but absolutely no kissing now at all, not even physical contact with a hand or arm afterwards. Like she said the other night, its free so grab it while you can, so that's the way it will be. No more or less satisfying than going with any woman, lets hope Monday there are some nice feelings with Simona the restaurant owner. If I want unemotional sex, then that is everywhere and easily obtainable. But its free here at the moment. She managed to pack another two boxes last night, while going deaf to the headphone music at full blast.

  11:00
   The chap from housing has just left after arriving late, much to Eliza's displeasure.
They cannot help her anyway and suggested to go to the main office in Twickenham. So that's where she's heading next and I agreed to drive her.

  Got a phone call from her just now, asking to pick her up again. Apparently they couldn't or wouldn't help her, so now its another plan. Rent privately. A two bedroom flat close to the tube. No garden and upmarket.
"You know." She said coming back in the car. "A nice two bedroom top apartment on Richmond Hill."
Which just happens to be the most expensive place here and, possibly in the UK!
"Oh come on. Get real." I laughed. "Richmond Hill? There's nothing there under four grand a month, let alone some top penthouse overlooking the valley and thames. Who the hells going to pay for that?"
"Well, you know what I mean." She answered back. "Nice upmarket area."
It just so happened we were driving through the side streets of Richmond at that time around possibly the second most expensive area and she kept looking up at the let signs and huge houses.
"Something in one of these sort of houses." She said.
I didn't get drawn into the conversation about apartments any further at that time. Thinking that talking about it in a more affordable area was a better idea.

  By the time we reached home and made a coffee, she was in a much more realistic mood for a change. The first time I've seen the dreams or karma trip under any control in weeks. I thought to myself, how if only she could control her dreams always like this. But that's an impossibility and I quickly dismissed it as the biggest illusion of them all.
After much discussion, my job now is to find a nice two bed apartment on the large side, furnished, near the train and under a thousand a month.
Having resolved that matter in her mind, she looked up at me as I stood to leave.
"I thought we were going upstairs?"
"Okay." I happily replied and we did.

  After a quick shower, I felt anxious to get on with things as the ball is firmly in my court now. The faster I can find somewhere, the faster all this will be over at last.

  19:40
   Sat here for the last three hours clicking through pages of properties and preparing a short list, I kept thinking how I've done all this before, though last time for me.
Surprisingly, there are a few apartments that just fall within realistic affordability. There are not exactly on the hill or penthouses but under a grand, well almost. There are one or two I wouldn't mind myself if I was living alone, so in her more 'real' state at the moment, one of these may appease her. We shall see when she wakes up tomorrow.

  Just had email from that professional young lady I went to see yesterday. Maybe I was wrong, maybe she would like to have my company now and again. Anyway I mentioned a liking for food and maybe, just maybe a very special lunch may be on the cards. I have just replied and asked when, so I am happy as it looks likely to happen.
Must admit though, she is a very nice lady originally from Uganda and very involved career wise in a good cause to help others. Helping others is something that has always played a key role in my own life, so we have very much in common as regards humanity, which makes a good start to any relationship.

  I have already talked with Eliza about finding a young companion and deliberately brought this lady up in conversation this afternoon. I wanted to know her true reaction when reality of things were certain. Eliza knows about her as I have spoken of her history often and she has seen her picture in the press. Her reaction was quite cool and actually seemed reasonably pleased with my choice of a possible future companion.
"Does she know we are separated?"
"Yes." I replied. "I told her that we are parting after sixteen years."
"Has it got to kissing yet?" She asked very unconcerned by the initial news that I was actually doing this.
"Gosh no." I laughed back. "I've only just spoken to her and have too much else on my plate at the moment anyway."
I thought to myself how she is still making decisions on what she thinks is good for me.
I couldn't resist having a little stab back.
"At least." I said "She wont be expecting anything big from me. I can help her a little with her work and get back an awful lot of genuine appreciation and gratitude. The only thing you have truly appreciated is that watch I bought you."
I don't often do anything even slightly vengeful, but I think you will excuse me a little one in the circumstances.
Her answer came back with a well played track from her arsenal of them.
"I remember how there was never any money around every time my birthday came in April. For three years!! You were always short in April. That's how much you cared about my birthday!"
Its true, for three mysterious years, every time April approached, so did more pressing financial commitments that had to me met. That was in the very early years back here in the UK when we had precious little and there were many things of far greater importance than anyone's birthday. They were the days of traumatic survival. Little money, a very sick wife and a five year old with very special needs and my limited mobility. She will hold that against me forever. It started out as a fluke actually. I always kept on top of the finances in those days, every single penny, there was not many of them. I remember making a big blunder at the tax year end and ending up worse off than expected. So birthday was the minimum a quality restaurant, an expensive card and a cuppa with a kiss. Many would probably be happy to have a good man to give them a kiss.
Eliza kept grumbling about this no money trip and how it better not happen next April. As the year wore on, I reminded her a couple of times not to keep going on about it, as she could actually make it happen!
Well believe me, I tried extremely hard to avoid a poor - to Eliza's standards - April. But damn it, next year it happened again. It was like it took from Christmas to recover and then, not enough. Basically, Eliza's daily wants were far outstripping available cash and debts were mounting. Let alone the missing expensive birthday gifts.

   You see that has always been the dilema facing me, whether to buy something for her or not. If I buy it, will it cause me more aggravation than its worth because its inferior or, will she show any appreciation for it. That's enough to put most people buying something. I suppose over the more recent years, birthday and christmas presents have lost there glitter as she has not had to wait that long to get most of the more affordable items she has fancied. Like a expensive small antique that would take her fancy on one of the frequent tours we did. Or that natural body healing with stones course. Or that lovely old painting in the shop. I remember once she got the calling to be a sculpture. Straight out I went to satisfy this immediate urge that had to be fulfilled, down to a specialists arts shop I went. Bought the special sculpturing clay, all the knives and wooden tools, the full monty. She went back to bed for a few days after that and all was forgotten until the next time. I eventually buried the now rock hard clay in the garden, I still have the tools in a drawer somewhere with loads of other left over's like the oil paints when she was going to another Picasso. And that's just some of the little things. I've taken her away top class to places like Russia, Japan, Goa, Kenya, Tenerife, India, Holland, Spain, Tunisia. We have toured many thousands of happy miles from one end to the other of the UK, gone across the channel many times to France and ventured further to Amsterdam, Belgium, and Spain. We have stayed in many beautiful places in equally beautiful locations. They were all types of presents for her as they were all from her ideas, requests or straight demands, not mine.

  Well before the third 'poor' birthday was due, Eliza was in weekly swing with displeasure. at the two last birthdays and threatening war if it happened again. I kept pleading with her to stop creating so much negativity over something that hasn't even happened yet. Or it would materialise into fact. I am possibly the worlds greatest believer in this very slightly mystical reality. I have spent half a lifetime studying its effects and analysing results against facts.

  Before the power of prayer came the power of thought. And thought can be powerful. It was much later in life as I analysed the events that befell me at twelve, that I discovered how a Poltergeist is in actual effect and extension of the person it is always attached to. Everything the poltergeist does is a direct extension of the persons thoughts. The Poltergeist is in fact an extremely powerful energy force that is fed and controlled by the person whether knowingly or not, depending on there reaction to its manifestation. It was not a spirit that lifted up the old iron piano and hurled it through the open front door to land in the front garden near to my Grandma, it was my thought. I still vividly remember wishing it to happen. Just as I would tell it to empty the basin after I finished helping with the chores after dinner, as was expected in those days from children. I started telling it out aloud because my Dad did not believe I had control in any way, up to then I had just thought it. I will always remember how he stood there gob smacked as it happened. I just stood by the sink and said.
"Okay Johnny, empty the washing up bowl."
By then Gran had arrived across the huge dining room floor and barged into the kitchen annex with hands firmly on hips she just stood there speechless. Which was very rare for Gran.
Just to show off, I turned on the tap and filled some more water into the bowl.
"Watch this." I said, feeling bigger and more important than the world at that moment.
"Empty the bowl." I said almost dismissive and pulled back from the sink.
I think Gran started mumbling something from the bible as she always did, being fiercely religious and went off in distress to speak with God. Dad I think, was possibly more concerned about my sudden feeling of importance. I managed to dismiss his fears though by pretending to find it all so funny and unimportant. But underneath I was studying hard and taking in what details I could considering my age and understanding. I may have had a lot of fun during those months, but by the end I knew for certain who was doing what and what the power of thought can do. Hence I have spent many years deliberately trying to discredit rather than prove this fact. Every single time across all groups and ages its always proved.

  So I was serious when I asked Eliza to quite down about it. What actually went wrong I cannot remember, all I know is that it was unexplained, last minute and left me potless for a couple of weeks. It nearly left me homeless as well!
She went ballistic and we had one hell of a row. I seem to remember I felt particularly peeved at her rather violent attack as I had bought her this very expensive running machine with computer training built in, only a short while before. Considering our financial situation at the time, well over a grand on Eliza's luxury whim was a massive amount. Come to think about it the same sort of thing happened the year before that, only then it was a tall pinewood welsh kitchen display unit for about seven hundred.
To this day I have no other explanation why three times in a row this happened on the same month. No matter how hard I tried and believe me, not wanting to experience Eliza's wrath is enough for any man to try hard, it still went pear shaped. I think the row we had then quieted Eliza about the subject as I really shouted at her about creating negative thoughts towards future events and the dangers. She didn't mentioned it for years until more recently, as additional ammunition. And, surprisingly enough, there has not been a 'poor' April since she stopped moaning about it.

  What Eliza gets and can have any day of the year, many wait a year or more and only get on special occasions. Many others don't get at all. She used to have a saying about buying luxuries when we were out shopping.
"Every day should be Christmas."
I used to always answer back the same.
"It is darling."
Normally that would be just before.
"I will just pop in here and buy some more creams."
You know, those famous make forty quid a small jar creams.
All those "Oh that looks nice." and into the basket days of shopping. Do you know, joking apart, we cant even go into a pound shop and spend less than thirty quid!

  When we were talking earlier, I joked with her about how if she intended to have her wealth karma sorted by her next birthday, how she had better not criticize whoever is providing it or they wont be around for her next birthday. I reminded her of the fact that the only thing I had ever bought for her that past satisfaction, was the watch for one of her birthdays.
"You better treat your new Mr Rich a little better and show some appreciation. Or your Mr Rich will be leaving you, poor."
The subject then changed back to the apartment and cost of rent. In a very realistic moment, Eliza said.
"Yes, but the rent cant be too much, otherwise how am I going to pay it when I get a job?"
The thought of all that money coming out of her wages to pay the rent terrified her for a moment. I saw an opportunity to bring some reality home to her, not to save our relationship, that is over, but for her own good.
"But, if as you say all this will happen this year, or at the latest, by your next birthday, then why on earth are you worried about the rent? There will be loads of money and a Mr. Rich, so why worry about how you are going to pay for it?"
Then I looked across the small kitchen table straight into her eyes and said.
"That's where your going isn't it? To materialise your wealth karma? That's what this is all about isn't it?"
Suppose she couldn't very well say no, as that would be sticking the pin in the balloon. She just sadly looked back and said "Yes."
I just looked back and repeated something I often say these days.
"If anyone can do it, you can. And I really do completely wish you find what your looking for."
"Oh its out there." She bounced back.
"Well I wish you luck in finding it." I replied and then added.
You certainly have every reason to achieve it, not just because you desperately desire it, but to avoid anyone saying.
"Look what she just tossed away and now look at her."
I left her much quieter as I wandered off to the lodge feeling the hurt of being cast off like used rag after so many years. And what for? None of the usual reasons like, he beats me up, or he plays around, or he is bone idle, or he cant do it, or he doesn't love me, or just plain 'I fancied another man screwing me'! No, none of the above or countless unlisted others can Eliza complain about. Yet all that and the security it offers, has been totally sacrificed for a fantasized journey that reaches to the stars. I still worry what will happen in the worst event that none of this materialises. Not for her safety, but her state of mind and maybe how bitter it could become if she fails, which unfortunately has higher than normal odds due to the values she has placed upon success.
It would be such a shame for a really wonderful woman, when she's in reality that is, to end up alone and bitter. Such a shame.

  But Eliza is one very determined lady and if she points her sights at things a little more realistic she certainly has every chance to succeed. Its just her sights are set not just high, but out of normalised boundary and that's where failure is the norm, not success. However, she also has tremendous faith in her prayers and I would never even remotely think of scoffing those. They are sincere and very powerful, which again ties up with the power of thought. When those thoughts are entered into prayers they can become hugely powerful.
I remember once in Casablanca when things were getting very difficult and the misfit consortium we were involved with desperately needed this super rich chap from Saudi to take interest in the project we were working on to pull water more efficiently from wells, using this revolutionary new working prototype Tom and I had managed to manufacture.
Well, they pulled all their Royal connections and called in favours to try and track down when this money man was coming to Morocco and where he was staying so they could sell him into the project. Obviously hoping to relieve him of a substantial financial investment. Nothing worked and they worried. So did we, as the money was running out and there were lots of things to make for the exhibition we had been entered into.
So this particular day we are feeling some desperation and Eliza decides she's had enough of this consortium bunch and going to chant and make things happen now.
"I'm going to chant for someone to come today." She announced and went off to do a marathon three hour prayers and chanting.
Around three in the afternoon the villa bell went and our bodyguard went down to open the security gates. As he came walking back with this well dressed man, I had come round to the front gardens and Eliza was stood on the steps by the villas front doors.
This expensively yet humbly dressed Arabic man walked up to us all smiling and greeted us like some lost friends of high importance. Meanwhile the bodyguard is frantically trying to make a call on his new mobile to his boss about this sudden intrusion which he was helpless to do anything about because of this dudes importance. I mean come on, they hire this six foot six tree trunk, packing a gun and with sap for brains to keep anyone away from us, and that meant anyone. They were terrified that someone would make us a better deal and whisk us away in the dead of night on a private jet somewhere. More bloody paranoia's.

  So there is this really nice chap explaining in educated English about his multi billion project in Saudi to build into the dessert and how he knew the consortium where trying to contact him. He goes on to say he had been trying to locate us for some hours as all he had managed to gleam was that we were on Blvd Gandhi. Well round about then the first of the consortium cavalry arrived, phoned by the tree who had at last fathomed out how to phone his boss. One of whom was now rushing up the path looking extremely agitated and sweating profusely. By the time he had joined us and introduced himself, another two of the gang had arrived looking equally pressured.
Obviously, we were immediately relieved of the general chatting as they attempted to guide conversation to there business interests.
We found out later from a colleague of this very nice stranger, whom he asked specially to tell us, that he loved us and actually did want to take us back to Saudi on a real not fantasy project. We also learnt of how he thought the consortium who were supposed to be looking after us were just a bunch of money grabbing thieves and felt so sorry that they had us so well locked into them. So obviously the intended deal with the important money man didn't materialise.

  But it did show me one thing and not for the first time I might add, before and since. Eliza prayed for and was one hundred percent certain of, 'making the right man appear today'! And against all normality, he did and he was the right man. The problem was the ones who controlled were not the right ones.
How on earth he managed to find us hidden behind huge walls and supposedly living in top secret from such people like him, I don't know. The road is about five miles long and heavily populated with villas. But he started his unusual search round about the same time Eliza started chanting. I remember being curious so I double checked his story to confirm. That's when I found out that he didn't start the day with this in mind but it suddenly came to him to try and talk with us alone. So when Eliza might say she is going to chant for something to happen, my rules of normality shift slightly, as you never know.

  My belief in the power of thought and prayer was and still is a concern though, about those curses Eliza gave out some weeks ago. To have such thoughts of sending curses is not at all healthy, to speak them is even worse, but to send them out by powerful prayer is really bad. Especially if a pure religion is used as the carrier of vengeance and curses. The effect from that morning is yet to ricochet, when it does and it will, I want to be far away from its back to person return path. Because I believe it will come back like a finely homed ballistic missile and possibly as devastating. Hopefully that will be months in the future when I am no longer involved with this heavy karma.

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